#not written to be explicitly LU

[luimagines]

Undivorcing by Twilight

Another commission!

Same concept as the other one. A 'fix it fic' for the Divorce Headcanons for Twilight which you can reader right here!

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

“Can we talk?”

Those were the first words you’ve said to him after nearly a year of total silence on your part.

Instantly, his heart in his throat and his stomach has fallen through the floor. Link thinks he might vomit. He’s got half the mind to lurch over and slam the door in your face as he attempts to collect himself. 

The bout of instant dread is worse than if he was punched in the gut. Instead of slamming the door in your face like he wants to, he finds himself frozen. He’s back where it all started, in the kitchen with a piece of paper in your hand as you read out loud all his faults and sins. Every piece of evidence that equivocates him to a bad husband in your mind comes back to the forefront of his as he stares at you.

You’re staring right back at him, fidgeting your hands nervously like you were asking him to a first date instead. You gulp and rub your palms down your shirt, running your hands through your hair soon after.

Frankly, you look horrible.

Matted hair, dark circles under your eyes, holes on your pants and stains on your shirt. You look thinner than before and you’re certainly paler than how he remembers you- what happened to you?

“Link, please?” You gulp again, hugging your arms around your chest. “I- I know you have every right to slam the door in my face, and I have no right to ask this of you. …But I just… I couldn’t not do this.”

“You want closure.” He assumes and takes a deep breath. The knot in his stomach only gets tighter, but he wants to think he does a good job of keeping the way he wants to cry off of his face. He thought he was doing better. He thought he was getting over you.

One look at you and his armor shatters into oblivion. 

“Well… yes and no.” You try to correct him. You shrink down on yourself and struggle to meet his eyes. The shame is clearly written all over your face.

“...What do you mean by that?” Link lean on the door frame. The angle makes his look angrier than he feels, colder than he bleeds- he’s just using it to make sure he doesn’t fall to your feet.

“I was just…” You bite your own tongue. With the way you wince afterwards, Link is tempted to assume that you’ve made yourself bleed. “I wanted to apologize. You deserve an apology. I was a monster. A cold hearted serpent with ice in my veins.”

You take another deep breath and force yourself to look at his face. You open your mouth but no sound comes out. Link can see you struggle to keep eye contact but he’s afraid to show the same amount of vulnerability.  “...I’ve missed you.” You gulp. “I… I was wrong. I shouldn’t have asked for the divorce. …I want to start over.”

Start over? Something cracks. Twilight isn’t sure if it was his heart or his mind but it allows him to stand up straight and meet your eyes with a gaze he’s never directed at you before.

You can see the storm you start and pre-emptively flinch, taking a step back. “Link-”

“You want to do what?” He says quietly.

It sounds like cannon fire in the otherwise quiet corner of the village.

Link runs his hand through his hair, choking on the laugh that tries to leave his lips. He can feel bouts of hysteria begin to build within him. Are you serious? Do you hear yourself right now? Couldn’t you hear yourself the day you read out loud the list of why you wanted to leave him?

But isn’t this what he wanted? Didn’t want you to get back together? Hasn’t he missed you too?

No. Not like this. Somehow this feels like an even worse scenario than he thought it would be. 

Link takes a deep breath, dragging his hand through his hair again and down his face. He inadvertently claws at his skin, leaving angry red lines on his cheek. He gets off of the door frame and moves away from the entrance, beginning to pace in the house, your house.

“Do you-?” He speaks, cutting himself off as he turns back to you. “Do you have any idea how long I spent waiting for you?”

That is not what he meant to say. Link has no idea why those were the words that left his mouth when that wasn’t remotely on his mind. He takes another deep breath, rubbing his cheek in an attempt to get his head back on straight. He can’t afford to let you in so easily. That’s how he got his heart broken by you the first time.

You begin to cry. “I don’t. But I can guess. I’m sorry, Link. I’m sorry. I know you loved me. I know I was the one that ruined us. I ruined everything. I know it’s my fault.”

You take a deep breath, smothering the tears over your cheek in your attempt to wipe them away. You smear dirt on your skin. Link has never seen you this filthy. You continue talking, keeping your head hung low in shame. “I know I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve a second chance. I know I hurt you. I hurt you badly. But I was wrong. I was so wrong. I’m sorry. Please-”

Link says your name softly, choking on his own spit. “Where did you even go?”

“Far.” You admit without missing a beat. “I couldn’t stand the looks that the village gave me when they learned I was leaving you. I already knew that if they had to pick, that they would choose you over me. I knew that. I still did it. I was still bracing myself for it but I couldn't take it in the end and left Hyrule.”

You hiccup. It sounds pathetic. “I went to Hebra for a while. I didn’t go to Castle Town because everything there reminded me of you as well. Your stupid hero’s legacy is imprinted everywhere you look… It’s not stupid. I’m sorry. I know it was hard for you.” You wipe your face again, getting it dirtier. “I stopped by wastelands for a month when I was feeling my lowest. The whole time I wanted comfort and a hug and someone to talk to and found myself looking for you when you weren’t there.”

Link clenches his jaw at the sight of you. He’s adult enough to recognize that he’s never hated you for what you’ve done to him. He could take the humiliation, the multiple hits to his pride and his heart and the echoing silence that now fills the house you once shared. But he could never hold onto the thought of something happening to you. He always prayed for your safety, your health and your wellbeing.

And he’s never been able to stand your tears.

Sighing, he steps closer and reaches his hand out, intending to wipe the mess you’ve made on your cheeks. You take a step back, hugging yourself close and shrink into a small ball of shame and self loathing.

“Don’t cry.” He says instead, placing his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place this time. He wipes the wet streaks from your face with the backs of his fingers. “You’ve always kept your head held high. Don’t stop now.”

“No.” You shake your head. “Don’t-.. I don’t-”

“Shhh…” He says, tucking your hair behind your ear. “If you’re expecting me to start yelling, stop it. I don’t want to get loud.”

You gulp, sniffling and whimpering pathetically as you struggle to keep yourself from crying some more. “You should. I’d deserve it. You can yell at me if you want.”

“But I won’t.” Link pulls you closer to him and against his better judgment, begins to lead you into the house. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. You can tell me the whole story when you have decent clothes on and some food in you.”

“Link-”

“This way.” 

He leaves no room for argument, pushing in the direction of the bath with a towel and some spare clothes of his. You don’t ask if there’s anything of your clothes left in the house. Of course, he knows where they are, but he doesn’t want you to know that he didn’t bother to toss them out. He put them in the corner of the closet where no sunlight, moth or dust could touch them.

He’ll wash them later and give them to you.

While you focus on cleaning yourself and getting all the dirt and grime off of your body, Link decides to fight off the building panic by making Yeto’s soup. Cheese, milk, pumpkin- does he have everything?

The smell permeates through the air quickly, filling the home once again with comfort and warmth despite the unforeseen circumstances that had brought you back to him. He’s not sure if he should be grateful to the forces that may be, or if he should tear his heart out for a second time before it can be trampled on for old time’s sake. 

You emerge in an old shirt that Link isn’t sure where it came from and with pants that clearly do not fit you. Then again, why would they? They’re also his.

You look a lot better. You took the liberty of using his comb to tidy up your hair while all your new lines and edges of your face highlight just how not well you’ve been doing. You’re no longer crying at least. The dirt is gone and your skin has gotten a little warmer in tone, no doubt from the warm water.

The soup is almost done at least.

“Link-”

Link says nothing, pointing to the table for you to sit down.

You look over and notice that there’s still two chairs on a very empty table. Head down, you wordlessly go to sit down at your old chair and make yourself comfortable. Or at the very least make yourself as physically comfortable as you can be in a moment like this.

Within minutes, Link walks over with a steaming bowl of soup and places it in front of you. Without another word, he walks to the other side of the table and takes his place on his chair. He leans back against the back of it and crosses his arms. “Eat.”

You gulp, your mouth and throat feeling incredibly dry since you’ve arrived at the old house you’ve once shared. You take the spoon and very slowly begin to feed yourself the soup that Link has offered you under his supervision. It’s weird. You feel conflicted. It’s awkward and tense.

Link takes a deep breath, relaxing enough that you won’t know the difference if you were to look up and see him. He feels better to see you eating. The bruising under your eyes hasn’t gone away but surely it would look better after a good night’s sleep.

The pregnant silence weighs heavily on the both of you. The only thing to keep it from stagnating is the quiet clinks of your spoon against the bowl and your collective soft breaths. 

“...Were you serious?”

Link surprises himself by speaking first. You almost jump from the sudden sound but manage to keep your reactions to yourself.

A sniffle. A nod. “I understand if you don’t want me back. I was so-”

“Stay then.” He says, gulping down the emotion that threatens to override his reasoning. “...If you truly think we can still work-”

“You’re going to forgive me?” You say breathlessly. You don’t believe him. “After everything?”

Link bites the inside of his cheek but nods.

“Why? Why give me another chance to mess this up?”

“...Because I still love you.” He whispers.  “Stay.”

Tears pour over your eyes again.

“...I will.”

[svsssfanonarchive]

Exposing SVSSS Fanon: 2/∞

SHEN JIU VISITS BROTHELS ONLY TO SLEEP AND NOT FOR SEX

Rating: FANON - SUPPORTED

It is a widely-held belief in the fandom that Shen Jiu only visits brothels to sleep and for comfort, and never has sex with the women. However, the only thing that is directly stated is that his purpose for visiting brothels is for seeking the company of women, and because he feels more comfortable around women than men.

 Though Shen Qingqiu was unpopular among his peers, it wasn’t to the extent of being kicked out of the communal sleeping quarters. He just loathed being in close quarters with those of the same sex... ...Liking women wasn’t the least bit shameful, but treating women like saviors, cowering within their embrace and seeking courage from them…even without anyone saying it, Shen Qingqiu knew that was horrendously shameful.

There is nowhere that directly states he does not have sex while at the Warm Red Pavillion. In fact, after Yue Qingyuan sends Liu Qingge away during the confrontation, it states that:

One person’s [SQQ] clothes were mussed and disheveled, while the other’s [YQY] had not a thread out of place. 

It's often argued that the dishevelled and undressed state (a few paragraphs later, Shen Qingqiu is putting his outer clothes back on) is due to Shen Qingqiu having a fight with Liu Qingge, however, in this scene, Yue Qingyuan is able to stop the fight before Shen Qingqiu can even draw his sword, or before an intense fight can occur.

Yue Qingyuan saw that the situation didn’t look good and pressed Shen Qingqiu’s elbow downward, preventing him from drawing his sword.

It's important to note that it is uncertain whether the two had already come to blows at this point, or if Yue Qingyuan was able to prevent any sort of physical fight from occuring. It is also uncertain whether Shen Qingqiu's state of undress and dishevelment is from sleeping at the brothel, fighting with Liu Qingge, or the earlier fight with BZP disciple Ji Jue, which we do know actually came to blows-- maybe it is a combination of the three.

Therefore, it cannot be said with certainty that Shen Jiu does not have sex with the women at Warm Red Pavilion. However, even if Shen Jiu had undressed to sleep there, it still doesn't mean that he had sex. There's just as much, if not more likelihood that it is only for companionship. He is never described as being fully undressed, so while he probably didn't remove his outer robe just for a fight with Bai Zhan Peak, he was still wearing his inner clothes, which would be normal for simply sleeping in.

There is more evidence that he does not have sex with the women at WRP than otherwise, however, especially when considering the infamous exchange between SQH and SQQ in Bai Lu Forest:

Shen Qingqiu asked. “And where am I supposed to find a male virgin’s pee out in the middle of nowhere?” Once these words left his mouth, he realized that Shang Qinghua was gazing intently at him. “Why are you looking at me?! As for my former self—let’s not talk about that for now. You wrote Shen Qingqiu’s original character yourself. He’s unsullied without, degenerate within, always burning with lust. He had an affair in his youth and sought prostitutes as an adult. You think I’m still a virgin? And don’t point at yourself, Shang Qinghua was written the same way.”

Though with this passage one can make a fairly good argument that Shen Jiu was a virgin, since Shang Qinghua never directly refuted what Shen Qingqiu was saying, it still cannot be said with complete certainty.

The accusation that Shen Jiu was a lecher who was visiting brothels simply to satisfy his lust is canonically false. The real reason that Shen Jiu visited brothels was to seek comfort. However, it is not explicitly stated that the comfort he sought out never included sexual relations, which could still be seen as part of that comfort.

In conclusion, it is fairly likely that Shen Jiu did not have sex at brothels, and only slept there, however, since only the intention was disproved in canon, and not the actions themselves, it cannot be stated as a directly-confirmed, canonical fact and may be interpreted otherwise.

[thelaithlyworm]

META The King Mu of Zhou/Iron Mask Scholar Theorem

[ID Head-and-shoulders of a man in a fancy hat looking with satisfaction at a pill taken from a small box. Below him, a man in alchemist’s robes bends over a recumbent form that looks like a large jade figurine. The right side of the picture is filled with curlicule ornamentation.]

Okay okay okay, I wrote a version of this with quotes and chapter references but it’s quite long so I suspect not many people have read it. (No judgement, I know it’s long, I feel it.) But this definitely is something I want to talk about, so I’m doing a paperplane version for tumblr.

So! The very first adventure in this series, Wu Xie encounters a double-layer tomb with a (living) man wrapped in jade armour who is promptly murdered by Zhang Qiling. The closest thing we get to an explanation is:

– Lushang-wang raided a Western Zhou tomb for immortality secrets, then built his own tomb over it so he could peacefully bake in the armour for a couple of thousand years, to finish the immortality process.

– Lushang-wang murdered by his advisor, a fengshui expert named Iron Mask Scholar, who also put on the armour.

– Iron Mask Scholar killed some time later by Zhang Qiling.

– The map to this tomb is one of a set of famously-encrypted documents sometimes known as the Warring State Silk Texts or more specifically the Lu Yellow Silks, or some variant in-between.

[ID Overhead view of a sarcophagus under a great tree, with various lids and layer scattered around it, and inside – and sitting up – is a body dressed in armour made of laced-together plates of dull jade. Wu Xie etc. recoil in alarm. End ID]

Come Vol. 4 Snake Marsh Ghost City, Wu Xie explicitly identifies the author of these Lu Yellow Silks as Iron Mask Scholar. He describes him as “the Leonardo da Vinci of Lu State” who encrypted documents to get important secrets distributed against the wishes of a higher power. (This is also the book that introduces King Mu of Zhou as a relevant historical figure, in the form of a stone mural which heavily implies his account of a diplomatic visit to the Queen Mother of the West was an outright lie.)

There are some bits and bobs throughout the rest of the main book series, specifically, part of the history of the Jiumen going on a super big raid to find a whole stash of Lu Yellow Silks to decipher for secrets of immortality on behalf of their current patron. The novel version of this arc doesn’t really dig into who wrote them and focuses on the effect they had in the 20th century. The Ultimate Note version changes the author to King Mu of Zhou and brings in a story initially written for the Sand Sea novel – King Mu of Zhou obtained an immortality elixir from the Queen Mother of the West but didn’t want to stay in her country to complete the process by sleeping in jade. Instead he made jade armour of his own and… put a baby in a jade box: “He built two figurines with jade meteorite. One figurine to contain himself, with another to contain a baby. After taking the pill, he planned to break the figurine in a few years under certain conditions. He would be reborn as a baby and attain longevity.” (UN, Ep 35, iQiyi subs).

[ID A painting of a great cavern with rough pillars, with the irregular shape of what might be a meteorite in the background. In the midground are two upright lumps of jade of equal proportions. Vague shadows inside indicate an adult in the left one, and a child in the other. End ID]

Skippy skip through some Jiumen stuff and some Tibetan Sea Flower stuff that suggests Zhang Qiling was the baby in the box… we get to Sand Sea proper, in which the chief antagonists are the Wang Family, descendants of Wang Zanghai from the Ming Dynasty.

But, say the Wang Family, we didn’t start this. Actually you need to go back thousands of years to King Mu of Zhou. The drama version of this revelation is a very clipped lecture, albeit with some interesting art, which mostly focuses on the snake eyebrow copper fish and the snake pheromones etc. etc. (It’s a fair call – sometimes you just gotta focus.) The novel version is very, very long, placed in the novel where you would normally expect the big climax/plot resolution/massive multiplayer final action scene to be. Some key points:

– Wang-laoshi keeps explaining that he isn’t lying but he is leaving gaps in the story for his student to figure out.

– We go right back to the story of Lushang-wang raiding a Western Zhou tomb, this time specifying that it belonged to King Mu of Zhou himself. Also that Iron Mask Scholar incited Lushang-wang to take up graverobbing from the start. He wasn’t an opportunist but a strategic planner who provided a “ghost edict” in King Mu of Zhou’s handwriting explaining that it was totes okay to dig up his tomb, the ghost of King Mu of Zhou thought that was fine, break out the shovel, kid.

– Story interrupted by a student explaining that for the handwritten edict to exist, King Mu of Zhou must still have been alive somehow to write it. (No forgers in Ancient China.) The teacher agrees, explaining that King Mu of Zhou took the Queen Mother of the West’s immortality elixir but could not by himself find jade armour to neutralise the deleterious side effects.

– FROM THEN ON Iron Mask Scholar is not in this story. This is now a story about King Mu of Zhou manipulating Lushang-wang from the shadows, creating the mechanism of a baby in a small dragon-pattern box as a timer and synchronous key for his own coffin, creating the Lu Yellow Silks which as we know were written in the Warring States Era and explicitly attributed to the guy who hid his face all the time………

– In addition, the rather odd (but fun) movie Time Raiders also features Iron Mask Scholar as a key player, this time writing his secrets on copper tablets not silk and also creating a box which is both a timer and a key, like that dragon-pattern box attributed to King Mu of Zhou.

My Conclusion:

King Mu of Zhou and Iron Mask Scholar’s deeds were so often conflated because they were the same guy. This is the truth hinted at by Wang-laoshi and Xu Lei.

(to be continued)

[muninnhuginn]

just generally musing to myself what makes thematic and plot sense for the link clink ending after reading some other people's takes the past few days. no real conclusions here, just some thoughts tied together with a string.

I've seen arguments that what needs to happen is that Lu Guang needs to accept Cheng Xiaoshi's fate and move on without regrets. This idea that the past has to remain as-is and you have to move on is a thread that the show has played with quite a few times. It's written into the very rules underlying the dives. The most obvious instance being the earthquake arc, where Cheng Xiaoshi was unable to save Chen Xiao's mum, but he *was* able to deliver the messages and thereby help CX gain closure. It's laid out by Lu Guang that it *was* worth it to deliver the words, and Cheng Xiaoshi takes this conclusion with him when he confronts Emma. (Of course, the fact this lesson was given by *Lu Guang* casts a different shade over the whole affair. I don't think it can be entirely discarded, given LG even admits he's going against his own rules, but it reads more like something he's trying and failing to convince himself of.)

So, the past has to stay as it is. We see a few different approaches to this idea in s2 - of people refusing to move on and trying to change the past. Qian Jin wants to force his wife "not to cheat"; he wants to alter her behaviour because she didn't act as he wanted. Li Tianchen wanted to change how *he* acted back then, even if indirectly, because he sees himself as his mother's killer, and thinks this is the point at which his tragedy was locked into place. They both thought their 'tragedies' were down to a single event. It's not that simple.

Lu Guang wants to personally protect Cheng Xiaoshi by controlling all scenarios. Not exactly taking his will, but limiting his choices. There's probably a whole post to be made on how QJ/LTC/LG each approach the agency of the ones they want to protect, but that's not for now.

Anyway, Li Tianchen as the foil to Lu Guang. At the end of s2, he has in theory let go of Li Tianxi but in practice he's just burying himself deeper by following Liu Xiao. Trying to entirely shun the past so he can believe that he still has some element of control. Both LTC and LG are at the extreme ends of clinging on vs letting go and that means the correct answer has to lie somewhere in the middle. Not shunning the past, but accepting it, and using that resolve to move forward.

So, Liu Xiao. We don't have much on him but what we do have is his belief that uncertainties should become certainties. He's deterministic and set explicitly as the counter to Lu Guang, whose own aim is to change events rather than lock them into place. They both want to *control* all aspects, but for differing reasons. In fate vs free will, it makes sense that our protagonist is on the side of free will, but it's interesting that he's presented himself so much as the opposite previously. He and CXS haven't exactly switched places, but to the audience, they've definitely taken on traits of the other.

Liu Xiao's whole spiel about how all options will eventually lead to the same outcomes, with him set *against* Lu Guang, very much seems like it's a setup for a "defeat fate" type plotline though. It's hammered in that there is no escape, no other option. Are we expected to accept this? It doesn't seem so. It's something I'm struggling to reconcile somewhat with the earlier messages about accepting the past, but maybe that's not quite it. Maybe it's about control vs freedom?

Trust fall. Every dive with LG and CXS is an act of mutual trust where they need to act in tandem. Dives go astray when one party acts without the other. For CXS, this is about him acting against LG's instructions (texting Emma's parents, staying in the earthquake dive). For LG, this is about him withholding info because he doesn't trust how CXS will react.

Lu Guang needs to put his trust in CXS before his withholding of information creates an unresolvable rift. He needs to stop trying to control CXS in order to keep him safe. We saw how that spun out for Li Tianchen and Li Tianxi. LG needs to put the choice into Cheng Xiaoshi's hands and let him decide his own fate. It reminds me of how Cheng Xiaoshi laid everything out for Emma and let her decide whether to live. It was only outside interference that prevented her, but she did make the choice to survive. And she did it by remembering those small moments. By accepting that tragedy happens but there are still people that make it worth it.

For LG and CXS, they need to mutually trust each other and that's how they'll find their way through.

[mengyan]

Hello! If you have read the novel, could you give us some details about Furong and Mofang? :) I am curious about their story since the drama unfortunately doesn't show much about them

sure anon! actually speaking, as the drama’s script was also written by jiu lu fei xiang (aka the author of the novel), she’s doing a fantastic job of expanding further on mo fang and fu rong’s relationship! there are actually more moments and, in a way, feelings between them in the drama compared to the novel. but that’s just my opinion as someone who has seen both!

in the novel, this is what we get (WARNING FOR PLOT SPOILERS):

the selling tickets thing doesn’t happen in the novel. mo fang and fu rong first meet when fu rong gets drunk in that wine shop. mo fang is furious at him for dragging shen li’s reputation down with him and thus goes to pick him up, taking him away. before he can do so, fu rong says he has “eyes like stars, with such soul” and kisses him in front of everyone. mo fang is dumbstruck but the second he recovers, he immediately knocks fu rong out before dragging him home. this scene was edited slightly to attempt to pass censorship and presumably filmed, but ended up being cut— thus resulting in that weird cut to the knockout and a shorter runtime of the final produced episode (which was only 36 mins).

although in the novel it is not explicitly stated how fu rong ends up grabbing mo fang’s pendant, he does do so while drunk (i headcanon that it happens while mo fang drags him back) and he does spend a long while trying to return it to him, just like in the drama. jlfx actually managed to keep 95% accuracy of their scenes and lines said, with the 5% amount of deviation due to censorship.

one of the lines cut was mo fang saying that he's "never hated/never been more annoyed by anyone in his entire life" which i wish they kept but it's okay

when xing zhi ends up clarifying that mo fang was rejected by shen li, fu rong is overjoyed and says something like “this is a good chance for me [to pursue him] then!!”

again, like the drama, fu rong is kicked and escapes to the mortal realm, and when fu rong returns, he clings every day to mo fang’s side. one detail i like that the drama added was that we got to see mo fang regret it and hold out his hand to help him up, but fu rong didn’t know he was trying to help and fled!! 😭

you lan still warns mo fang to stay away from fu rong and says all that stuff about how her brother normally doesn’t pursue men like this, like i am not kidding when i say jlfx is keeping everything she can

this is where plot spoilers begin so look away if you must!

while the demon realm is in crisis, mo fang is “swallowed” by demons upon fighting them, and “dies”. when fu rong finds this out, we learn from you lan that he went crazy, his spiritual power exploded, and because his powers are so pure, he ended up washing out all of the colour of his plants and exploded his courtyard.

he was unconscious for a long time, and when he woke up, he learned of mo fang’s betrayal, which broke his heart even further. he became silent and uncommunicative and did not let anyone fix his courtyard, so it’s still broken to this day.

from then on, fu rong dresses in plainer clothes (as if he's mourning... 😭) and swears to work hard to help guard the xutian abyss's barrier for the rest of time.

from one of he yu (fu rong) and xin yunlai (mo fang)'s interviews, it seems like we will be getting a lot more of their bond in the drama which makes me really excited! xin yunlai says that mo fang eventually ends up finding fu rong quite cute and that he doesn't want such a cute and kind person to be in danger. he yu says that later, when mo fang is revealed as a traitor, fu rong is the first to believe that he's not a bad person, and that he understands mo fang the most.

suffice to say i am NOT READY for the second half of this drama!! i hope this helps you out, anon!

[arecaceae175]

Pick a story you’ve written and tell us what you love about it!

Your writing style is absolutely wonderful!

EEEEEE thank you so much!!!! That's such a sweet question I LOVE talking about my stories!!!!!!

One of my favorite fics I've ever written is Sentiment. Besides Authenticity, I think it's my favorite. (TW: this fic involves Time and Wars arguing, and Time physically pushes Wars once to make a point. They resolve it by the end)

Quick rundown in case you haven't read it (but you should go read it bc I think it's very very good): Time and Wars are arguing and then they make everyone else leave the room, and then Time lets his "In Charge" mask fall and lets big brother Wars comfort him.

I love everything about this fic. I shoved SO many of my favorite tropes into it lol. First, Wars being all self-sacrificing and Time being best Dad trying to protect Wars, but neither of them have a healthy relationship with their emotions so they're being a bit mean. Here's some of the notes I have for everything going on in the fight scene that they don't explicitly say:

Time’s distaste of authority

Wars defending his authority

Wars defending his autonomy

Time not being able to handle big emotions because he still feels like a kid trapped in an adult’s body sometimes

Wars not having enough self worth to rest

When Time says “we” about setting the example Wars realizes he doesn’t want Time to feel like that either, and especially not the younger heroes

Time being so so so so afraid that Warriors got hurt but not knowing how to deal with it in a healthy way

That’s his big brother and he already lost him once. He will not allow it to happen again 

Wars felt like he failed and he HAS to redeem himself bc he has a reputation to uphold

What was the point of the War of Ages if he isn’t perfect? If he can’t protect people now???

And then I LOVE the moment when Sky steps in and stops the fight. The image of Sky standing with his hand on Time's chest, in between Wars and Time glaring at each other, IS SO STUCK IN MY BRAAAAAAIN. (((((If anyone ever wants to make me really really happy, draw that scene. I would combust and never recover (/light hearted, positive) ))))). It's such a good moment.

And then as soon as the other Links are out of the room, Time drops his mask. He has no fucking clue how to be in charge of 8 other heroes, and Wars is the only person he feels like he can truly drop the mask with. Because that's his Big Brother from the War of Ages. And Time is terrified to lose his big brother again.

Big brother Wars and little brother Time is honestly my favorite dynamic in LU. IT'S JUST SO GOOD!!! THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!!! Time, Wars, and Sky are in the top tier of my 3 tier list of favorite LU Links.

And of course I threw in "Sprite" bc that's an adorable nickname for Time.

So yeah. I'm very proud of that fic and I reread it a lot XD.

Thank you SO MUCH for this ask!!!!! I'm honored you think my writing is so good. I'm happy stimming so much!!!! EEEEEHHEHEHEHHEHEHE

[quotesfrommyreading]

Slogans, jokes, objects and colors can stand in for complex sentiments. In Hong Kong, protesters carried yellow umbrellas—also useful to defend against pepper spray—as symbols of their demand for democracy. In Thailand, protesters borrowed a gesture from The Hunger Games series, saluting with three fingers aloft in the aftermath of a military coup. Elsewhere, rainbow flags and the name “Solidarity” have signified the successful fights waged by proponents of LGBTQ and Polish labor rights, respectively.

In some authoritarian nations, dissidents craft jokes and images to build a following and weaken support for the regime. In the Cold War-era Soviet Union, access to typewriters and photocopiers was tightly controlled. But protesters could share news and rile officials with underground samizdat literature (Russian for “self-publishing”), which was hand-typed and passed around from person to person. These publications also used anekdoty, or quips of wry lament, to joke about post-Stalinist Soviet society. In one example, a man hands out blank leaflets on a pedestrian street. When someone returns to question their meaning, the man says, “What’s there to write? It’s all perfectly clear anyway.”

In the early 20th century, generations of Chinese writers and philosophers led quiet philosophical and cultural revolutions within their country. Zhou Shuren, better known by the pen name Lu Xun, pushed citizens to cast off repressive traditions and join the modern world, writing, “I have always felt hemmed in on all sides by the Great Wall; that wall of ancient bricks which is constantly being reinforced. The old and the new conspire to confine us all. When will we stop adding new bricks to the wall?”

In time, Chinese citizens mastered the art of distributed displeasure against mass censorship and government control. That was certainly the case during the movements that bloomed after Mao Zedong’s death in 1976. At the 1989 protests in Beijing’s Tiananmen Square, participants used strips of red cloth as blindfolds. Before the tanks turned the weekslong gathering into a tragedy on June 4, musician Cui Jian played the anthem “A Piece of Red Cloth,” claiming a patriotic symbol of communist rule as a banner of hope for a frustrated generation.

After hundreds, if not thousands, were gunned down by the military, China banned any reference to the events at Tiananmen Square. But Chinese people became adept at filling that void, using proxies and surrogates to refer to the tragedy. Though Chinese censors scrub terms related to the date, such as “six four,” emoji can sometimes circumvent these measures. According to Meng Wu, a specialist in modern Chinese literature at the University of British Columbia, a simple candle emoji posted on the anniversary tells readers that the author is observing the tragedy, even if they can’t do so explicitly. In recent years, the government has removed access to the candle emoji before the anniversary.

As a survivor of the Tiananmen Square massacre spoke to the crowd gathered at Washington Square Park, the undergraduate who called himself Rick expressed concern for a friend who had been taken into custody by police in his home province of Guangdong. Given the government crackdown, Rick suggested that public protests were largely finished for now. Still, he predicted, the movement will “become something else”—something yet to be written.

  —  The History Behind China's White Paper Protests

[adrift-in-thyme]

Hi!! I saw you're doing the DVD commentary ask game. If you don't mind, I'd love to hear about this passage. Your description of magic is so cool!

Dark magic warps around him, funneling him down, down, down. He reaches toward it with his own magic, trying to guide it, to nudge it in a safe direction. Water. They need to land in water. Otherwise this will end very badly. He solidifies an image in his head. A lake — big and beautiful and clear, waterfalls rushing down into it. There. That’s where he wants them to land. A hand grapples in the darkness. Fingers wrap around his own, familiar magic pouring through them to enhance his own. A slight smile lifts Legend’s lips. Hyrule. The image grows more clear and distinct. The smell of fresh water and dewy grass fills his nostrils. Legend steels himself and takes a deep breath. Any moment now… Heart pounding in his throat, he tightens his hold on Hyrule’s hand. “Don’t let go,” he orders through the waves of their entwined magic. And Hyrule’s grip strengthens in reply. Another moment slides by, a moment filled with utter darkness and the nauseating push and pull of gravity. Legend holds his breath, awaiting impact. It comes in a rush of magic and liquid, cold and heat, light and darkness. Legend catches a glimpse of blue sky and white clouds. Then his body breaks the surface with such force it knocks the air from his lungs.

Thanks!! I had a lot of fun describing magic here. I kinda always enjoy describing it lol. I’ve always been into fantasy (I read the Narnia stories so much as a kid that I practically had them memorized XD) and magic always seems like such a beautiful and powerful thing (even dark magic) that I’m always trying to find a way to capture that. It helps that I was in the Loki fandom before this so I got a good bit of practice figuring out how I wanted to portray his magic and that experience carries over into my LU fics now.

Also, recently I read ‘weathered and wavering’ and the author had such good descriptions of everything but especially magic. I wanted to eat their writing lol. So I was inspired by their work to portray magic as more idk intrinsic to the user’s existence I guess? More alive and linked with them and others.

And I just generally love the idea of magic users being connected through it (hence Legend and Hyrule’s telepathy moment lol).

Believe it or not I actually struggled a lot with this fic and this moment as a whole. I needed Legend to end up in a body of water somehow and I needed most of the Chain to be absent (so they couldn’t save him lol and also so that I wouldn’t have to write all of their reactions to him being a mer). And when I finally settled on the opening with him and Hyrule…I got Covid. So this was actually written as I sat on the couch, feeling miserable, with a cup of tea in one hand and my phone in the other 😅 The fact that it came out coherent at all is incredible.

It did help that I played Alttp during that time. I got to include a vague description of a part of Legend’s world (specifically Zora Waterfall, which I think would be gorgeous in Botw-type graphics). So though I don’t explicitly state it, Legend and Hyrule (and eventually the Chain) are actually in Legend’s Hyrule in this fic. Which is cool cause I usually default to Wild’s XD But also bad for Legend cause YIKES that creepy scientist was in his Hyrule??? He’s not gonna love that. As if he needed more problems

Aaaand I think that’s it! Thanks for asking!! <33

[irelandseyeonmythology]

I heard "Bres" pronounced "Bresh" on the Story Archaeology podcast originally, and was pronouncing it as that since...but I'm curious about the way it should be pronounced, if "Bresh" is not the way it actually sounds. :0

The "e" in "Bres" is broad, hence the spelling of "Breas" in modern Irish, so it's "Bres." Exactly how it looks in English. Terribly anti-climactic, rhymes with "press" as per Mark Williams.

Honestly, it's fascinating, the pronunciation they're using in that podcast, because it's inconsistent. Off the top of my head, I can hear "Lu" for "Lug", which is modern, deriving from "gh" becoming silent, I can hear "Tuaha Dé Danann", which derives from the modern Irish elimination of the "th" sound, but "Bresh." When the modern Irish spelling of Bres' name makes it very clear that it has a broad quality to it. "Elatha" sometimes has a silent "th" which it wouldn't have in Old Irish, though I sometimes hear them using the "th", but "Tethra" has his "th" pronounced, there's no fada over "The Morrígan" in how it's pronounced ("Mor-REE-gan", which pushes the emphasis kind of onto the second syllable, though, ngl, I've always struggled with this one so don't take it too much to heart), "Cath Maige Tuired" is pronounced with a hard "d" at the end and a kind of broad "u"; the way it would be pronounced in OI would be "Maige Tehreth", with a slightly hard "th" sound like "those", "Dagda" is pronounced with a hard "d" instead of a softer, lenited "d" in the middle, more like "Dagtha", likewise for "Cridenbél", which I notice they also pronounce like it has a fada over the "i", "Dinnshenchas" is pronounced with the "sh" being pronounced like the English "sh" instead of the silent "h" sound you'd get from the lenited s, the emphasis sometimes strikes me as being on an odd syllable...) (Like, there's nothing wrong with using modern Irish for Old Irish pronunciations; you will personally almost never hear me use modern pronunciations, but that's a personal choice and one that makes people tend to think I'm even more of an idiot re: pronunciations than I already am, but...I'm fascinated, honestly, especially since some of these traits are things that you'd never get in any stage of the Irish language and that got beaten out of me relatively early in my academic career.)

...also I'm not certain I'd agree that LGE is much later than CMT...given that CMT is a ninth century text heavily revised in the 11th century; LGE is an 11th century text. Like, CMT actually *drew* on LGE at a couple of points. (It's astonishing, honestly, that even though they're blatantly cribbing from John Carey's "The Baptism of the Gods" in that podcast, they don't reference it.) Like, I do believe that there are sections of CMT that were written a couple of centuries earlier, but I'm really not sold that it deserves that kind of emphasis. (Especially when you're using Oidheadh Chloinne Tuireann, an early modern text, to talk about Balor and the men of Lochlann.)

("being committed to writing around the time of the Viking encursions" It is being AUTHORED during the Viking invasions.)

...it is impossible for Bres to be king of a single túath given that Bres is, explicitly, king of the Túatha Dé. There's no reason to think he isn't a high king of Ireland. Like, first line describing Bres' reign: "There was contention regarding the sovereignty of the men of Ireland between the Túatha Dé and their wives." Bres is king of Ireland. That's 100% in the text. No reason to suppose otherwise. He rules over multiple túatha and he is the king of Ireland.

...I don't understand why we can't assume that there are literal family names, as opposed to indicating a general familial relationship.

...I like the overall point about the Fomoiri not being a distinct foreign group, but are rather human, I like that there is an emphasis that it isn't just "stupid women electing the good looking one", I like the emphasis on Bres being essentially set up (even if, to be honest, I don't believe there's all that much evidence for it in the text) and the way that Elatha kind of creates him, it's something I've been prattling on about for ages, it's kind of shocking that in the discussion of the Dinnshenchas, they don't bring in Carey's "Myth and Mythography in Cath Maige Tuired", I have no idea why they're assuming that Bres is a 100% native, indigenous god, and I have no idea how they could get the idea that Elatha conceived Bres as a take-that to Cían and Ethniu....when Lugh was born *during Bres' reign* (Lugh is significantly younger than Bres.)

...now I know where the translation of Bres' name as "Beautiful horseman" comes from. God help us all.

...not to say that they don't know their stuff, since I know that Isolde Carmody has an impressive track record, especially since she translated the Morrígan's rosc while being blind and knows Old Irish, but. Well. To be perfectly honest, I'm disappointed specifically because I know that she knows better.

[hylialeia]

based a little bit on that last post, can i ask your thoughts on kylo ren. what were the sequels even trying to do with him, and what went wrong (or right, ig)?

This assumes the Sequels knew what they wanted to do with any of their characters Part of the issue here is that the writers tried to leave things too open instead of just committing to a single story, resulting in the nonsensical tug-of-war from movie to movie where no one got a consistent story arc. Another is that I don't think the original concept they crafted for Kylo was ever going to work for that open-road approach.

Consider: The Force Awakens wanted Kylo to be a reverse Anakin, ending up in the same position as Vader in the OT, but ultimately for the opposite reasons. Whereas Anakin struggled his whole life with the pull of the Dark Side, Kylo explicitly struggles against the pull of the Light; he doubles down on his commitment to evil for his own purposes. It's also worth noting that none of the films ever actually provide a motivation for Kylo in the way they do for Anakin, who we’re shown in the Prequels sought power because he became obsessively afraid of losing the people he loved (extremely in-line with his backstory as a slave on Tatooine). And no, I'm not counting books or additional materials as valid explanations; Kylo is a main character in the Sequel Trilogy, so this information should have been part of the actual story, not a DVD extra.

Furthermore, one of the things the Sequels actually do commit to is showing how Kylo's cruelty is a form of compensation; he's presented as childish, entitled, volatile, and insecure, evoking a completely different atmosphere than Darth Vader in the Original Trilogy. He destroys control panels with his lightsaber, wears a mask that he doesn't even need, and panics when Rey can tell he's only mimicking Vader's power. In the same way Anakin once tried to be the perfect Jedi Knight, Kylo is trying to be a perfect Sith Lord.

And I definitely think this is an interesting character route to go, using the clear parallels with Vader to showcase how different they actually are... but it begs the question, how do you carry out a story arc for a character who acts like this? And what do you do when the evil coalition you've aligned this character with is narratively the same as the fascist-coded tyrannical Empire from the OT? And what do you do when that character is also the only next-generation member of the main family these movies have all been following along with?

This is where I feel putting Kylo in Vader's position of the Empire-aligned antagonist AND secret family member really starts to backfire, because there’s no satisfying ending for him. Redemption? He’s a willing participant in a fascist regime (which blew up five planets, not that any of the movies ever feel like addressing this). No redemption? He’s the only next-gen Skywalker, the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the last member of the family this entire franchise has been building up for fifty years. Redemption through death (AKA, the option we actually ended up with)? Repetitive, literally a copy of what happened to Vader; plus, if you were against redemption, it feels half-assed, and if you were for it, he ends up dead. Everybody loses.

But then again, good writing can pull off virtually any of these options, can’t it? And therein lies the final issue: the Sequel Trilogy and its characters are poorly written. From their backstories to their current arcs and motivations, they’re inconsistent, designed to be appealing blank canvases for projection--for better or worse.

Let’s go back to the OT. Darth Vader is the villain, yes, but the way the OT handles his arc is with clear purpose and awareness; he's Luke's foil, Luke's potential future, Luke's father. Even his redemption is more about Luke's character than his own, focusing on Luke's insistence that there's good in him and that he can find a way to bring it out (thus his last words: "You were right, Luke. Tell your sister, you were right"). When you take into account the Prequel Trilogy, it's also clear that Anakin is meant to be sympathetic, his fall playing out as a tragedy orchestrated through circumstances largely beyond his control. He struggled against darkness and failed, suffered throughout his life, and in the end is pulled back into the light by his son before he dies, going out with one last act of defiance. His arc is structured. Planned. Fine-tuned, even, for his character.

I don’t think the Sequels ever knew what they wanted to do with Kylo, and certainly not to this extent. If they were going for a redemption, they shot themselves in the foot with their repetitive story concept more than anything else.

[wutheringmights]

I just read the newest chapter and I loved it! ♥ ♥ ♥ I was wondering if you had some hcs about the engineer that you could share?

Awww I'm glad you like it! I just spent 5 minutes trying to figure out what "HCS" meant before realizing I'm a tired idiot who can't read lol

But yeah! I got some headcanons for the engineer/Spirits I can share!

These headcanons are a mix of things I generally believe for any iteration of the Hero of Spirits and a few things exclusive to CTB. It's pretty obvious which are which.

Technically this is slight spoilers since most of this is not mentioned in-story, but Warriors is a such a self-centered asshole that I'm not sure when I can get him to explicitly ask about Spirit's backstory lol

This got super long and kind of just became me talking about Spirits's entire backstory, so enjoy:

Spirits is sixteen during the course of Spirit Tracks, mostly because that was the vibe I got from him when I first played the game (I made him younger for CTB)

He's not descendant from Wind (who I maintain disappeared instead of settling in New Hyrule); instead, he's Aryll's great grandson

His family name used to be Outset, but when everyone who originally immigrated from Outset island took on that last name, they changed it to Aryll to reflect the family matriarch

So Spirit's full name is Link Aryll, though there is a branch of his family that uses Macaryll instead

The Aryll/Macaryll family is huge; everyone has at least six aunts and uncles on all sides of the family and they can trace back how they are related to Aryll

"I'm Grandma Aryl's third son's second daughter's fifth child." -someone Spirits is related to, probably

He actually never met his great grandmother; she died before he was born.

Spirit's dad was full-blooded Lokomo while his mother was Hylian; his mother passed a few months after he was born after never truly recovering from childbirth while his father died in a fishing accident when he was eight

He went to live with an aunt and uncle who owned a general store; their relationship was polite at best. The aunt and uncle told Spirits upfront that they intended to give the store over to his cousin when he was older so Spirits needed to come up with his own life plan

Spirits didn't necessarily mind since he never wanted to work in a store for the rest of his life, but the ultimatum made it clear that they didn't care for him like a son

To this day, their relationship isn't strained and he doesn't hate them. But whenever they meet, he's overly polite; they're more acquaintances than family

He's cool with his cousin though. They have different interests so they aren't best friends, but they're okay.

Spirits also always had his spirit-sensing abilities. It's really like a sixth sense to him, as normal and automatic as seeing and hearing; he actually didn't realize this wasn't normal until he was a little older

His abilities at this point are limited to sensing vague ideas of a person's spirit (if they're light or dark, etc.), and seeing ghosts (which are really rare. You have to have a lot of power yourself to become one)

(Note: I'm not the only one who headcanons Spirits as having spirit sensing abilities; if you know who can up with the idea, please let me know so that I can tag/credit them!)

The elder of his village told him that select Lokomo had minor spirit sensing abilities, and those who did were traditionally made elders of their villages; being more of a follower than a leader, Spirits adamantly dismissed that idea and refused to be trained on how to hone his spirit senses. He also never learned any of the religion behind it

Which was a little worrisome since his abilities are way stronger than most

Besides, he's always liked trains and it's been his dream to travel around the kingdom as an engineer; being some town's elder would get in the way of that

Anyway, Spirits had to pass a written exam before being accepted as an apprentice engineer, so he's very studious and has a lot of drive (pun unintended?)

He went to live with his Uncle Niko during his apprenticeship in another town; Niko isn't related to him, but he's been a friend of the family for so long that everyone secretly thinks he's actually related to someone and they just forgot who

Niko is his real family, hands down. Those two are as thick as thieves and bring out the wild side in each other

A preteen Spirits used to think Niko was a little lame and kind of embarrassing, but now that he's older, he's all for Niko's weird old man-ness and has even picked up on some of his weird old man-ness himself

That being said, they're both disasters. Neither can clean or cook or do any kind of housekeeping and their shared house is cluttered with Niko's art projects and Spirit's half-finished tinkering

Growing up, Spirits had no idea he was related to the legendary Hero of Wind; Aryll died before he was born, but even in life she was filled with too much grief over her missing brother to discuss it often. Within the family, being related to the Hero of Wind is a rumor at best.

Of course, Niko knows but keeps it a secret from Spirits; once he got back from his LU-adventure, Wind told Niko about the curse of the Hero's Spirit. Then he went missing post-New Hyrule's founding, which really drove the terror of the curse home. Niko thought he could keep Wind's family from falling victim to it by not inadvertently encouraging them to follow in Wind's footsteps

So Niko kept it a secret

And obviously, that didn't work

Spirits' quest to save New Hyrule resulted in him realizing that he needed to embrace his Lokomo heritage and get a handle on his spirit powers; Anjean gave him a little training during his quest but afterwards he traveled around the kingdom to find as many people as he could with abilities like his

They were all really excited to teach him what they knew, especially the religious aspects of the abilities; Spirits is still not the most religious person, but he at least understands and embraces the cultural significance of what he is able to do

This is where he learned how to read a person's Spirit to get an idea of their life experiences and the kind of person they're like; he can also detect where a person is without having to put much effort into it

At Zelda's encouragement, he also got more sword training from the Castle Guard. She offered him a place among them, but he turned it down in favor of remaining an engineer. He still helps around as a swordsman when he can and will act as Zelda's body guard

Speaking of which, he and Zelda are 100% in love. Their relationship started out as puppy love but over the years as matured into a deep connection built on mutual respect

When he's working on designing new engines or parts for his trains, he occasionally brings his drafting materials to the castle gardens so that he can work alongside Zelda; sometimes she falls asleep leaning against his arm and he has to be careful not to shake her awake as he works

Whenever she need to go anywhere in the kingdom, she rides in his train and teasingly criticizes his conducting; he takes a lot of pride in his conducting, but he lets her get away with it since her critiques are objectively hilarious

He keeps a tiny pictograph of her taped to his dashboard

But there's a bit of a problem with their relationship, and it's that he doesn't know if he wants to be the prince consort or not. He does love her, but that would mean giving up being an engineer in favor of being stuck at the castle all of the time

Plus, he's doing great as an engineer; he's saving up to open his own garage that produces his own train designs

Eventually, he leaves for the War of Eras

His experiences with Warriors leaves him more sure than ever that he doesn't want to be the prince consort, resulting in him ending his relationship with Zelda shortly after he returns home

It hurts for a long time to be around her since all of his old feelings keep coming back, so he keeps his distance for a long time; it takes a few years for him to go back to hanging out with Zelda as friends

But now she's approaching marriage age, and he spends a lot of time when he's on body guard duty super jealous of these princes and ambassadors from foreign kingdoms who try to court her

But again, he knows he can't be in a relationship with her so he respectfully and silently pines over her (I'm just a sucker for pining, okay?)

Okay, more random headcanons that are a little less sad

Spirits likes super spicy food, but since he can't cook to save his own life, he just eats whatever he can get his hands on

He's super dirty all of the time, just the epitome of scrappy; there's always a smear of oil somewhere on his person

He actually really hates bathing and only keeps his curly hair in check to comply with train safety regulations

He's really polite and a little shy, but once he loosens up, he gets talkative and personable

He's also very contemplative; he likes conducting so much because he gets to spend long stretches of time alone with nothing but his thoughts

His trauma/stress response is to shut down; he goes quiet, loses energy, and sleeps for longer periods of time

He tends to gravitate towards socializing with people who are older than him, which gets him labeled as being no fun by his peers (despite having someone as cooky as Niko for a uncle)

Post-adventure, his best friend is Linebeck III. They're drinking buddies. Neither can really explain why they even like hanging out as much as they do

(I just like the idea of Linebeck accidentally getting attached to one kid and his whole bloodline getting forever tangled with Wind's; they're bros for multiple lifetimes)

Not only is Spirits good at designing and building new machinery, but he's great at tinkering; he can fix almost anything and will buy broken things on purpose just to have something to fix

No one really knows he's a hero; he doesn't like the attention and, at his request, Zelda did her best to keep his involvement with Malladus a secret

Because not many common people know about his adventure and records of New Hyrule are very rare, he's considered in Warrior's time to be a forgotten hero; some scholars believe that a Hero of Spirits may have once existed, but if he did, no one really knows who he was or what he did to serve the bloodline of Hylia

[cybernaght]

If this is not Prestige Television, I don’t know what is

The Long Night/沉默的真相 is a short drama in iQiYi’s Light On series. It’s based on a novel which I have not read, so I’m looking at it as its own thing. I have been struggling to formulate my thoughts on it, because it is such a heavy-hitter. It’s not sentimental or sad - it delivers rawness like a punch to the face. It does not make you sad - it makes you sick to the stomach with despair. So I will be talking about it effusively, it’s because I really cannot do so otherwise. 

This is a dark, gritty crime thriller, which is told across several timelines. In 2010, the body of the young public procurator Jiang Yang (Bai Yu) is discovered under quite extreme circumstances. In 2003, the same young procurator is looking into the suspicious death of a small town teacher, who dies mysteriously in the year 2000. The story is told just like that: across three different timelines, cross-cutting between them seamlessly. By slowly peeling back layer by layer, it reveals its core of abuse and corruption, and tells us of those who were ready to give up everything in order to uncover it. 

Thematically, this drama is about procedural justice that needs to be pursued and fought for, tooth and nail. The narrative really leans into the grind of justice-seeking, the desperation characters feel having spent and lost years of their lives fighting for it. There are no miracles, no lone heroes, no magical fixes. And the ending - while in many ways fulfilling the needs of everyone involved - is cathartic in the way that having an aching tooth being pulled out is cathartic.

The script simultaneously manages to be shockingly sincere and somewhat subtle. Both of the lead investigators in the 2010 timeline (played excellently by Liao Fan and Lu Xianlin) have suffered personal tragedies, and in other dramas you would so often see the script leaning into that sort of thing:, maybe there would be a sob scene, or a monologue about their pain. Here, you find out about them through context, or through throwaway lines. Similarly, there are relationships that you understand are significant which are never explained in full - because they need not be. There is a sense of expansiveness to the characters, of the life they have beyond the screen, which has to do both the way they are written and the way they are performed.

Performances, in particular, are fantastic. Bai Yu is incredible as Jiang Yang. Calling his performance a powerhouse feels inadequate. It’s honest and raw and fearless, and not in any way pretty. His character undergoes an incredible transformation from a youthful, vivacious ball of hope and sunshine to a man so weighed down that watching him hurts. This is the level of acting I have not seen in a very long while - neither live, nor recorded, not in media what originates anywhere in the world. 

Visually, the Long Night is slow and unfiltered. The story is told between long stretches of silence; panning shots of grim, untidy locations; lighting that looks gray and sunless, even in the “past” scenes which are awash with a warm filter to distinguish them from the present day. There are perhaps a couple of visual shorthands that I found a little bit on the nose, but overall the drama looks wonderful. Even though there are are some things shown on screen that went perhaps a touch too far in terms of their content, I don’t believe that they were handled gracelessly, or existed to add shock value rather than support the emotional weight of the story.

The only point of contention I would raise is that while a lot of the story is about corruption - including corruption in the justice system - it went to some lengths to state explicitly that those are just some bad apples, and the police are good actually. I understand that it’s there for a reason - because China, and in order for us to be able to see good shows they first have to be allowed to be released - but those little scenes were cut into the final couple of episodes which otherwise delivered some incredibly intense content, and as such really stood out. 

Regardless, the Long Night is incredibly strong. I would very happily watch the director Chen Yifu’s other works, only, according to My Drama List, he does not actually have any aside from a poorly reviewed movie he shot eight years ago; if this is true I am even more impressed with his work here. This was a wonderful piece of television, and one I will be thinking about for a while.

Next up, I’m watching something dumb, loud and fluffy (which does not include Bai Yu’s character being found dead in a suitcase) in order to regain mental equilibrium. 

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Yamata-no-Orochi (Part 3) Betrayal

*kicks the legs out from under the table, one by one*

You’d been stuck for hours. It was extremely late but you couldn’t sleep. Caesar and Chu Zihang drove in circles before finally parking in an alley to wait. At first, it was all emergency vehicles -- Police, Fire, and EMS -- then there were many reporter trucks with satellites mushrooming from their roofs.

After that, the streets got very quiet and occasionally you spotted dark sedans driving far below the speed limit, like sharks on the hunt. Hydra was looking for Mingfei and Erii.

You lay in the back seat to keep hidden. You were still in your silver Cheongsam and heels. You stared holes in the back of the driver's seat and listened to the radio. Seventy six people were dead. Only a single person was injured. They were painting it as some wild street race gone wrong. People were describing fiery debris. Bodies, some of them in various degrees of dismemberment, were strewn all over the street. It would take days to recreate the scene. One of the things the reporters quickly picked up on was the lack of wounded. How could a car accident be so catastrophically fatal?

But the noise of the radio faded away in your mind. Instead you were remembering when you first saw Z. It wasn’t in real life. You first saw him in your dreams. When you were hurt or frightened by the nursery staff, Z would appear and ask you what you would like to happen to those people. If they stuck you with needles you would say, “I wish they would be stuck by a million needles.” And then watch as they were stuck, screaming and crying in pain, just like you were.

Or if you were beaten by the nurses, something horrible and perverse would happen to them in your dreams. Like one round nurse would swell up so big and red you could see her veins through her transparent skin and wherever you popped her she would bleed.

When you first saw Z in real life, it was the special day when you graduated from the preschool section to the adolescent section and started to use your soul skills in experiments. He stood tall and proud, his bright red-gold eyes gleaming at you. He smiled at you, a warm smile like he was the king and he could have picked anyone in the world but he picked you. That smile was a gift that beckoned you to run towards him. You thought it was a dream. But he opened his arms and hugged you.

In the back of the car, tears fell at the memory. You’d never been hugged before. Ever. A warmth spread from his arms and his body and filled you. It made you bright. It opened your mind and heart and let him in completely, without reservations. After that he was your best friend. Between him, you and Renata, you felt privileged, you learned quickly how to navigate your dangerous world and soon you were the oldest and most successful hybrids there. You were sure to go to the capital.

It was only at Anton’s death that Z showed you the truth, but he didn’t help you survive Black Swan overtly. You still had to watch your friends die. You assumed Z died too. He never reappeared in your dreams again until you nearly died in Chizuru and then you were so happy to see him again. But your relationship changed into something far more intimate. You didn’t know if you were ready for something like that. But he certainly did.

At least he never lied. He never explicitly said he loved you. He didn’t even say you could love him either. He said you didn’t know any better. Of course you didn’t. He’d groomed you since you were a child.

Remembering that made it hurt all the worse. A great shadow has fallen over your past. Now you had no happy moments to reflect on with Z. Everything was full of crevasses that hid questions and doubts. Like the boulders that would forever separate Izanami and Izanagi from each other in the underworld, you and Z were now irreconcilable.

“I haven’t seen a patrol in the past 15 minutes. Think we’re clear?” Chu Zihang asked.

“How the hell should I know? We take a risk if we wait 15 minutes or an hour.” Caesar responded. “You okay back there MC?”

You look up at him, his blue eyes reflected in the rearview mirror. “I’m pissed.” you growl.

“I bet you are.”

There was more to be said but now was not the right time.

You end up making it a room across from the hotel where Erii was staying. Lu Mingfei was waiting for you there.

Mingfei cracked open the door and then let you in.

“Take off your clothes!” Caesar said coldly.

His voice was so sharp and harsh that Lu Mingfei immediately did so, removing his shirt.

When Mingfei unbuckled his belt, Caesar snapped. “Keep your pants on… turn around.”

“Oh, you were so serious I thought I had to take off all my clothes.” Lu Mingfei said.

Chu Zihang and Caesar curiously admired the dense lines of scars on Lu Mingfei’s back. They were so numerous that you could not find a single unmarked spot on him. It was like he had endured a beating of a thousand strokes or had rolled over a bed of knives. Even Caesar and Chu Zihang were stunned speechless.

“Are you done looking? I’m kinda cold.” Mingfei peeked over and startled at the sight of you. “Ah! You didn’t tell me MC was here!”

“She doesn’t care, stop wiggling!” Caesar hummed. “Incredible self-healing ability. A trauma of this magnitude would take at least 3 weeks to heal even at a top-notch medical center. But only eight hours have passed since you were attacked. You should have bled to death on the spot.”

“That’s because the wound began to heal itself the moment he was injured. The blood vessels stopped bleeding on their own, so the blood was locked in the body. The cells filled in the wound by a high rate of division. Even the ruptured tendons were repaired.” Chu Zihang said. “This self-healing ability surprasses that of Chisei Gen and MC.”

Could this be why the principal rated him as S-rank?” Caesar mused. “If he always had this ability, wouldn’t he make the perfect meat shield? If we have another gunfight with someone, we can send him in front of us to Main Tank the damage while we lay down suppressive fire!”

“The so-called lack-of-childhood must have been an act, then? Boss, you’re so familiar with the term ‘main tank’. What do you play? Warcraft or Warhammer? Anyways, shut up about that, we’ve got a bigger problem!”

“We already know, even if you didn’t come to us, we came to you. Every news channel is broadcasting what happened last night.” Caesar grabbed the remote from the chair and turned on the TV.

You already knew the story, so you don’t bother watching it again. Something else was bothering you. Caesar said she was 21, and was staying at a love hotel, but he also said she was wrapped around his finger. Didn’t Caesar say that he was hoping for Erii to fall in love with Mingfei? The whole idea suddenly made your skin crawl!

“Caesar. Is it alright if I go to the bathroom?”

“Huh?” Caesar looked up from the TV. “Yeah sure whatever.”

You walk inside and shut the door and get as far away from the door as you can and lean against the wall. You cross your arms, your nails biting into your biceps. You understood that Erii was potentially dangerous and that was evident today. But all you could think of was Z’s gentle hug, his indulging in your punishment fantasies, the play time and the jokes. It was all fun until it wasn’t. You recall the souvenir Mingfei got from her after she rescued him, a little duck bath toy. You’d tteased him for playing with it. Mingfei said he would never bathe with a duck.

He wasn’t that much of a kid.

Fire like a kiln blazed in your stomach. This was the person Mingfei had wrapped around his little finger? As Caesar had so blithely put it? You flush the toilet and pretend to wash your hands and open the door.

The boys were already moving on, talking about something else.

Caesar was standing next to Mingfei and handing him a card. “Meet at Pier 7 in Tokyo Harbor. The address is written on this.”

“What if she loses control while on the ship?” Lu Mingfei looked frightened.

Caesar handed him a box of medication encased in a glass vial to Lu Mingfei: “Isoproterenol, a strong anesthetic. Give her this medication. It will reduce her vital signs to a minimum and she will sleep until she gets to China. Give her some glucose half way through the trip.”

“But she’s very weak now!” Lu Mingfei raised his voice. “Injecting a very weak person with a strong anesthetic and only living on glucose for seven days? What if she dies?”

Caesar patted his shoulder: “We don't want her to die either, but this is the most feasible way to deal with it right now. She is a deadly weapon that could get out of control at any moment. And we can neither continue to hold this dangerous weapon nor return her to the Hydra, so the only way to do that is to send her out of Japan. It would take a bit of a risk, but it would get her out of Tokyo, the center of controversy. She’s the strangest hybrid we know of, perhaps related to the awakening of the White King. And with her gone, it would be the equivalent of a dangerous element being removed.”

Wait a minute. This didn’t sound like Caesar. The way Caesar was talking about her to Mingfei was not the way he talked about her to you. The way he talked to you was that she was a beautiful girl and that hoped Lu Mingfei and the Uesugi Clan Chief would get together!

Mingfei seemed convinced by this however.

Chu Zihang spoke up. “Caesar and I have discussed this before we came. And this is the only way. Find an excuse to take her out and bring her to the dock tomorrow at exactly four in the morning. She trusts you and should agree to board the ship with you.”

Chu Zihang’s words were like a bomb going off. “Uh… excuse me!” You say.

“What is it?” Caesar asked, his voice slightly dismissive.

“Why don’t you just tell her the truth?” Your face was awash in indignant confusion.

“What? Are you kidding?” Mingfei squeaked.

“No, I’m not kidding! Caesar just said,  ‘make up an excuse’. You’re going to lie to her!” You lower your voice to a whisper but point sharply at the hotel across the street. “Do you think she’s stupid?! When she finds out that you’re lying, she will go absolutely nuts!”

“MC.” Caesar took a breath. “MC… I know how you feel but now is really not the time.”

“No, you’re being cruel. Mingfei, you should know better!” You snarl. “You are her only friend, her only one! You are under an obligation to be upfront with her or else you’re no better than Herzog! You should know better. All of you should know better!”

“Hey…” Caesar growled, his eyes darkening. “This is completely different. Don’t compare me to that asshole.”

“What if she loses it? You don’t know if she can handle that sort of information. She’s extremely mentally unstable!” Mingfei whimpered.

“There is nothing more destabilizing than being betrayed by the people you trust.” You stare at  Caesar accusingly. “After all this time, after all you know about me. You turn around and pull this?” You take a shaking breath. “She is a child.”

The room descended into an uneasy silence and no one moved or spoke. The only sound was the continuous rain on the window and the rumble of distant thunder.

“That’s your plan? Tell her the truth. Are you going to take responsibility for her going on a rampage after she hears that she’s dying? Not everyone is that strong, MC.” Caesar was completely expressionless. He only got this way when he was upset.

You take a breath and let it out. You start to speak and nothing comes. You shake your head, struggling. “The man who told me I was dying was the man who loved me.” 

You turn away and leave the room to regain control of yourself.

A few moments later, Chu Zihang exited with a box of tissues but he quickly saw it wasn’t needed. You were just staring blankly at the wall in the hall. 

“Caesar has decided to let you go. He wants you to stay with Mingfei tonight and go with them to the docks tomorrow. Take the ship to China with them.”

“What’s stopping me from telling her the truth on the way there?”

“Mingfei will drug both of you.” Chu Zihang said.

You turn to look at him and then immediately turn away, your heart sinking. “He views me the same way. So much for the ‘I'm not Godzilla’ speech huh?”

“Things aren’t always black and white. A lot has happened. You’re in obvious danger from something we don’t understand. You may not realize it but your mental state is not the same as when you arrived.” Chu Zihang’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper. “Your mind is going too.”

You just shake your head. “All I hear are excuses. Excuses for him to be a hypocrite.”

Chu Zihang sighed, and you see for a moment how tired he was.. “You don’t have any say in the matter. The decision is unanimous, not only between me and him, but also Lu Mingfei.” 

You drop your arms from your chest, limply.

He looked down at you, his eyes cold. “If you defy the orders, I won’t hold back. From your training you should understand what I mean.”

The door opened and Caesar walked out. “Alright, let’s go Chu.” He paused next to you, his eyes cloudy. “I care about you. I really do. But there’s too much you just don’t understand. We’ll talk about getting you back to Japan once this is all over.”

You look up at him and shake your head. “The key to my survival is in Tokyo. If I leave, you won’t see me again..

He reaches out to hug you and you let him. You take a deep breath of the smell of his shirt which still smelled of those fine Cubans. It might be the last time. He really did believe what he was doing was the right thing even though it directly contradicted what he said before. 

“Don’t say goodbye. I’ll see you later.” Caesar said. “Keep an eye out on the two love birds.”

He walked away and didn’t bother looking back.

You return to the room with Lu Mingfei and sigh. “What a mess.”

He laughed but there was no humor in it.. “Yeah no kidding.” He was holding a modified pistol in his hand, one of Caesar’s Desert Eagles!

“What… are you doing with that?” You shiver violently. 

“If she gets out of control, I will have to shoot her. The bullet inside is specially made to be completely lethal. Even to dragons.” He mumbled. His eyes were dark pools and you couldn’t read the emotion in them. “If, for some reason that doesn’t work, you’re to finish her off.”

“Will you use that against me too?”

After a long silence he continued. “Turns out we actually are going to be at war this whole time. Me and Erii were never going to happen. You and I were never going to happen. I tend towards being a human. You and Erii tend towards the dragon side. If we go to battle, we have to use all our resources against each other and fight tooth and nail. It doesn’t matter if you sit together on a Ferris wheel or… talk all night on the phone or… run through the streets in the rain.”

He lifts his head to you. “If that day comes, we just have to grab our weapons and fight.”

He looks back down at the gun. “You were raised to fight. It’s what you know. But Erii… she doesn’t know anything.”

Outside the window it was pouring rain.

[nevilles-insinuations]

More Than This - Luke Hemmings

Requested by @whyitsashitshow

You're a singer, you and Luke are best friends. He helps you out with recording a song, not knowing how you feel about him.

Warnings:  Lots of fluff and exactly one swear word. Word Count: 918

A/N:  Also I had No Takebacks by Kiana Lede stuck in my head when I wrote this.

Spinning around in your chair in the studio, you couldn't help but feel agitated as you waited for Luke. He was running late but you didn't mind. It gave you more time to overthink everything.

You had known him for what had felt like forever. Meeting the blond at a random party years ago. You got talking about life, music and eventually everything.

Immediately you became close to the boys, but especially Luke. There was just something about him.

His laugh, the way you shared such a dumb sense of humour, the chaotic energy that he just seemed to exude at every waking moment, he was hilariously perfect.

Recently you had started to realise that he was perfect because you were falling for him. It's not like you didn't want to, it was the best feeling but also constant torture. You couldn't wreck your relationship with your best friend. This frustration was coming out in your music, but hey- at least it sounded good.

You stopped spinning around in the chair, a tall blond figure emerging in your blurry vision.

"Hey- I know I was late but I can make up for it!"

He rushed towards you, an apologetic smile on his face. Handing you your favourite drink, he sat down in the chair opposite you.

"So what's the song?"

Luke asked, looking at you excitedly. You had explicitly refused to show him any part of it until today.

You pressed a couple buttons on the laptop, bringing up the file. The lyrics played in the background, as you sat awkwardly in the chair. You hated the sound of the demo, it was why you asked for his help.

Unrequited love was a tricky subject, but as you watched him close his eyes and listen to the music, you felt like he finally understood. He was really listening to your words and that made you even more nervous.

"Who's it about?"

Wiggling his eyebrows, intrigued at how you could write so lovingly about someone. The way your words flowed in a way that expressed unfathomable pain in adoration, in a way that he could very much relate. Loving someone that didn’t love you. Caring in a way that was beyond friendship. The uncertainty of not knowing how the other person felt, with little hope for a positive outcome in admitting your feelings.

"A guy"

"Who's the guy?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you"

You stage whispered, laughing in an attempt hide how tense this interaction made you feel.

"Okay"

He rolled his eyes, but you knew he wasnt going to give up that easy. Luke was kind of annoyed that you weren't going to tell him. He was pissed that it probably wasn't him. Wishing he could make you feel loved the way that mystery guy could.

A couple hours went by, and you had finished the song. Now you were just messing around in the studio. It was fun but everything with Luke always was. Pulling funny faces at him when you were stood in the booth, trying to get through lyrics. Sitting on the couch, thinking of random instruments to add in to your other song ideas. Surprisingly, you didn't think a clarinet was going to improve much. Still, you always valued Luke's opinion on things. Your minds worked in a similar way when it came to music.

"So is this the first hit single of (Y/N)?"

He turned to face you, still sat on the couch, guitar in his lap.

"I mean I'd hope so but who's to say"

You had been working on EP's for a while and gained a small following, but you weren't famous famous. You didn't mind, music was more of a method of expression for you anyway. There was something about sharing a part of you with the world, that made you feel better.

"I can say that I was there when this masterpiece was created"

Your best friend put his hand on his heart, sighing like the drama queen he was.

"Ah yes the Great Hemmo"

You rested your head on his shoulder, nestling into him. He was always comfy, his hand snaked around your waist. When it was like this, it felt like you were in a little bubble. Perfect. Untouchable.

"Some guy is very lucky to have something so beautiful written about him"

He cuddled you closer, trying to act like he wasn't being vulnerable right now.

"You really think my song is beautiful?"

You looked up at the taller man, who was now facing you.

"Everything you make is beautiful, you're so talented"

"Thanks Lu, so are you".

"I appreciate that coming from you"

You took a deep breath, before continuing.

"Well I'm glad you like the song...because it's about you"

"Wait what?"

Blue eyes blinked back at you in surprise.

You nodded, watching the cogs turn in his head.

"Fuck. Wow. That's good. Because I can do this"

His lips met yours in a instant. The knot in your stomach disappeared as your hand rested on his cheek. Luke couldn't help but smile, finally able to enjoy the feeling of your body in his arms. The inexplainable warmth that radiated through his body from such a gentle but intimate kiss.

"You have to write a song about me now"

You laughed as you broke apart, his hand still lingering on his waist.

"Who says I haven't already?"

Smirking, he pressed another kiss to your lips, content that it definitely wouldn't be the last.

[helioptrixx]

Okay, let me take a moment to talk about the Legend trilogy by Marie Lu. (It’s an amazing series and if you haven’t read it, you should. And be warned, there are spoilers ahead.) (And be warned, this doesn’t go anywhere. It’s just me. Rambling.)

Actually, let me take a moment to talk about one character in particular. Thomas. Thomas is. I wouldn’t go so far to say that he’s my favorite, but I love his character.

Thomas is that character that starts out as a /seemingly/ complete asshole at first. He’s absolutely horrible to Day, doesn’t hesitate in giving the order to shoot at the protestors, and it’s revealed that he’s the one who kills Metias. And then June learns that Metias had romantic feelings towards Thomas which were likely reciprocated and used so he could kill him easier. And then it’s believed that Thomas and Commander Jameson are traitors to the Republic. And then Thomas dies for the Republic shooting at the Colonies soldiers.

I’ll start with the fact that, even in the first book, Thomas really is just a good guy. Since it’s only from Day and June’s perspectives, us, as readers, are influenced by their bias. Both June and Day believe that Thomas is attracted to June, when in reality it’s just Thomas attempting to fulfill Metias’ dying wish of protecting June. While it’s true that Thomas is being really protective of June, which can be interpreted as an attraction to her, he’s basically doing the same thing that Metias did as her older brother. Being, well, brotherly and protective. However, June doesn’t know that, since she’s never been as close with Thomas and which is why she believes that it’s just him being weird.

Technically, it’s never made clear whether Thomas likes Metias or June or neither or both. What I can infer is that he does have a romantic interest in Metias, but not so much in June. While, yes, he does this weird thing at the ball where he sort of tries to kiss June, but in Prodigy he says that it was just her reminding him of Metias, and that he thought in that moment the best way to protect her was to keep her close. But while it’s unsure whether Thomas has romantic feelings towards Metias, it’s proved that he is extremely close with him. He vehemently denies having anything to do with Metias’ death besides killing him. He’s distraught when June keeps accusing him of not doing anything. Okay, actually let me correct myself. I don’t think that Thomas ever explicitly says that he loves Metias. I don’t know. It’s been a while since I read the books and I only have Prodigy so I can’t be certain. (But it’s definitely implied.)

[Here’s the part where I realize that I haven’t actually explained why I like Thomas so much.]

I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but I just like the way his character is written. Yeah, at first he seems like a complete and utter asshole who is way too much of a rule follower and will do whatever he’s told. Then his character gets a bit more complex with the whole Metias-Thomas platonic but not relationship. He’s still mostly an ass, though. Then he gets sentenced for the murder of Metias, only to be broken out by the Patriots/Colonies. (I don’t remember who, exactly.) Then he gets killed by the people who had saved him, because he really is a loyal Republic dog.

I- yeah. He has a character arc, which I can appreciate. He’s not a static character. He has depth. I think what I enjoy so much is that, from the very beginning, you can see exactly what type of character he is, but do to the bias from the narrator(s) we believe one thing. It really is just Thomas trying to keep his promise to Metias.

I don’t even know, anymore. This was going to go somewhere but then it ended up just being me trying to explain my love of Thomas’ character and just repeating the same things over and over. Just. If you made it to the end, congratulations. Go take a break from tumblr and reward yourself with a cookie or something. I don’t know.

[chaoticbluebirdconnoisseur]

Five Mineral Drug

Five mineral powder (or wushi), also known as cold food powder (or hanshi), was one of the most widely used drugs in medieval China.  I have read the paper Lebensstil und Drogen im chinesischen Mittelalter by Rudolf G. Wagner and thought that those who can’t speak German might want to know more about it as well. In this, I will explain how it was found and popularized, the people who took this, symptoms, side effects, etc.

So I picked out a few texts and translated the translations from German to English. Keep in mind that the translation had gone from being originally written in Middle Chinese to being translated to German by Wagner, and then being translated by me in English. This is not an official translation, and I don’t want it to be treated as such. I tried finding alternative translations but in the end, I had to resort to translating most of it myself. My translations (which are Wagners translations) are marked with a ・ .

And also for those not bright enough: DO NOT RECREATE THIS TRASH! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONSUME IT! Jesus

Five Mineral Drug Before He Yan

There is not much known about the History before He Yan’s lifetime, but we have the following statement by Qin Zhengzu in his work Hanshi san lun ・ :

Although the recipe for the cold food powder originates in the Han Dynasty, there were not many who used it. But when the shangshu (He Yan) achieved godly mental abilities (because of the drug), it spread immensely throughout the era.

In Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo [1] which citates Huangfu Mi ・ :

Where the drug came from is not known. Some say Hua Tuo invented it, others say it was Zhang Ji. If one examines the truthfulness on these accounts, it was plausible for Hua Tuo’s talent to invent simple recipes (which does not apply to the five mineral powder). In a text written by Zhang Ji, there is a recipe called Houshi Hei (Black Powder by Sir Hou) and a Zushi Ying recipe, both of those, have a similar composition like the Five Mineral Powder, and the codes of conduct (for the ingestion) are more or less the same. According to those two recipes, the plant-based and the mineral-based, I deduce the origins stem from Zhang Ji and not Hua Tuo.

Remarkable is that Huangfu Mi had to speculate even though He Yan was dead for only 30 years. Rudolf G. Wagner comments that Huangfu’s explanation could ring true because Zhang Ji was known as a doctor specialized in Shanghan diseases (cold diseases). Summarized we know that the drug was probably invented in the Han Dynasty and that it was meant to be used as medicine.

He Yan and the Popularization of The Five Mineral Drug

He Yan (d. 249) was the grandson of He Jin and grandnephew of Empress Dowager He. His mother Lady Yin, who was formerly the wife of He Xian, became the concubine of Cao Cao. Although he was closely affiliated with the imperial clan (through his mother and his wife Princess Jinxiang), he was largely unrecognized by them, Wendi of Wei even calling him a ‘false son'. He stayed out of government until Mingdi of Wei’s death. He Yan cultivated a circle of friends of scholarly interests, on which he exerted influence. His contemporaries include Wang Bi, Xiahou Xuan, Deng Yang, Li Sheng, and Zhuge Dan.

At the regency of Cao Shuang, he and his circle would take great influence in the years from 240 to 249, which was known as the Zhengshi era. He and Wang Bi (226-249)achieved great scholarly achievements in Neo-Daoism, also known as Xuanxue. The cultural, scholarly, and scientific advancements were unparalleled and imitated in later years. But the regime by Cao Shuang and his co-regent Sima Yi (179-251) would prove to be highly unstable. Cao Shuang and his circle came to represent the new elites with Xuanxue as their philosophy, and Sima Yi represented the orthodox Confucian landholders, who would feel threatened by He Yan and his friends who represented in many the new powerholders. Internal strifes in Cao’s faction and Sima Yi’s short retreat from the court would result in a coup d'état against Cao. Cao Shuang, He Yan, his supporters, and their families were all executed.

For a more thorough analysis on He Yan, I highly recommend DaolunofShiji’s A Case For He Yan.

He Yan was described in the He Yan Biezhuan:” His figure and face were of outstanding beauty; when he went outside, for a walk, onlookers would fill the streets; many said he was a genius”. Further, the Weilüe states: “...in all activities white cosmetic powder did not leave his hands, when walking he looked back at his shadow.” As a dandy, outstanding debater, and philosopher, he would dictate the beauty and philosophical trends, of not only his day but for the next centuries. For example, the former standards of attractiveness were in the Late Han Dynasty a warriorlike appearance with great strength to accompany it. Because of He Yan, the standards changed to a more docile and graceful appearance.

As a trendsetter, with no doubt many admirers, he introduced the drug in the Wei elite with his description of the drug cited in the Shishuo Xinyu: “Whenever I take five-mineral powder, not only does it heal any illness I might have, but I am also aware of my spirit and intelligence becoming receptive and lucid.” It’s popularity rose in the Wei-Jin elite as following anecdotes describe:

Chao Yuanfang’s work which cites Huangfu Mi in Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo・ :

In youngest times, the shangshu He Yan devoted himself to music and appreciated sex, when he took the drug for the first time, his consciousness gained more clarity and his physical strength increased. In the capital (of Wei), everyone passed the drug around... After the death of He Yan, those who took the drug multiplied, and it didn’t slow down with time.

The drug not only aids ‘spirit and intelligence’ but also increases the enjoyment of music and sex.

Cao Shuang’s biography in the Sanguozhi [2]:

Shuǎng’s drink and food and chariots and clothing, imitated the Imperial carriage; craftsmen treasures and toys, filled up his house; wives and concubines filled his Rear Courtyard, and he also secretly took the Former Emperor’s Talent concubines of seven to eight women, and his offices and officials, teachers and workers, drums and horns, elite family’s sons and daughters of thirty-three people, all became his performers and musicians. He forged Imperial Order documents, sending out Talent concubines of fifty seven women to Yè terrace, and having the Former Emperor’s Fair concubines teach and practice performance. He usurped the Grand Musician’s musical instruments, and the Military Store’s prohibited weapons. He made cavern residences, fine engraving all around, repeatedly with [Hé] Yàn and the rest meeting inside, drinking liquor and making merry. 

Rudolf G. Wagner analysis that this scene is also in correlation to the five mineral powder, mainly being in a ‘cavern residence’ which helps with the side effects of the powder (I will explain the side effects later on). Also, the ‘Talented Concubines’ (who are Mingdi’s concubines), the excessive wine drinking, and the musical instruments indicate that the circumstance has been applied to fit the positives of using the drug and to alleviate the side effects.

Of course, this lifestyle would take a toll on He Yan’s health, as the powder that could ‘heal any illness’ betrayed him. As Guan Lu observed, not only He Yan but also his colleague Deng Yang were greatly weakened. The anecdote is in the Guan Lu biezhuan which you can find in his Sanguozhi biography[3]:

Deng Yang's gait is that of one whose sinews are loosed from his bones, and his pulse is unsteady. When he would stand, he totters as a man without limbs. This is the aspect of a disembodied soul. He Yan looks as if his soul was about to quit its habitation. He is bloodless, and what should be solid in him is mere vapor. He looks like rotten wood. This is the aspect of a soul even now in the dark valley.

Also the He Yan Biezhuan further states:” He had such a weakened constitution, that he couldn’t wear heavy silk anymore.” It is plausible that it is attributed to the drugs, the heavy silk could either produce more heat than he could handle, or it could apply pressure to the ulcers, you get from this drug, (but then again we will talk about the side effects later). Hao Yicheng (1757-1825) commented that if Sima Yi didn’t killed him, that he would have passed away anyway, because of the consequences of his drug use.

He Yan’s Legacy in Relation to the Drug

He Yan was the most important person concerning the rise of the drug in Wei-Jin circles. He was blamed for the moral decay of the elite, and over the centuries, criticized regularly for it. The following memorials bear witness to it:

Pei Wei’s (267-300) (whose father Pei Xiu passed away because of the drug, we will get to that later) memorial, which can be found in the Jinshu 35, criticizes Wang Yan and others for their admiration and imitating the actions of He Yan and Ruan Ji. It is explicitly mentioned that their rolemodels like themselves ran around naked, being unable to follow the rites.

Fan Ning, in the reign of Emperor Jianwen (reg. 371-373), presented in a memorial, which you can find in the Jinshu 75, in which he criticized He Yan and Wang Bi ‘That the faults of He Yan and Wang Bi are greater than Jie’s and Zhou’s faults’. Those two ‘terrible last rulers’ were considered evil, but only corrupted their own generation. He Yan and Wang Bi, on the other hand, exceeded the faults of ‘barbarians’ because their negative influence in all areas, corrupted the elite, the execution of He Yan and the establishment of a new dynasty affecting nothing to the problem. He is also implying that because the Jin elite followed He Yan’s and Wang Bi’s teachings, they couldn’t defend the north from the ‘barbarians’.

Sun Simiao (581-682) wrote in his treatise ‘Declaration of the Toxicity of the Five Mineral Powder’ which is in the Qian Jin Yao Fang ・ :

The revival medicine cold food powder or five mineral powder, according to old reports, were not known to recipe specialists, but (its use) began with the Marquis He after the end of the Han.

Since Huangfu Mi among those, who were tricked by this temptation, there were none, whose back didn’t inflame, whose bones didn’t disintegrate and who didn’t subject themselves to destruction. Since I can remember, it hasn’t struck only one from those who I knew, who came from the capital.

Su Shi (1036-1101) wrote in his memorial ‘The Memorial of Shangyang’ Lun Shangyang the following ・ :

It began with He Yan, that the people took stalactites and wushi (different word for fuzi: aconite), and gave themselves uncontrolled to wine and sex, to prolong their life. (He) Yan was in his youth rich and honored, how should one be surprised, that he took the cold food powder, to satisfy his desires? What he caused with that (that the powder spread), was enough to kill people and to destroy families. Every single day. How awful it is to die from the cold food powder - But what can I alone do? Those who take the cold food powder and whose backs are decaying (are so numerous), that they step on each other's feet!

Yu Zhengxie (1775–1840) wrote in his work Guisi Cungao the following, comparing the five mineral powder to opium ・ :

The nobles and dignitaries haven’t asked themselves if they have an illness or not, but it became fashionable with He Yan to take this drug without reason. The people of Wei and Jin took this drug and were not able to come back to their senses until the end of their lives...

The powder of Wei and Jin and the ‘pill’ of Tang and Song are the worst and are comparable with today’s opium. Under the Jin, Tang, and Song the governments, however, haven’t banned (these drugs), whereas today opium is banned; That’s how one can see that only the present government is handling the problem correctly.

The Recipe

First, we examine He Yan’s Five Mineral Powder Recipe, referenced in Sun Simiao’s (581-682) work Qian Jin Yi Fang, where mentioned in a note that if two components (sulfur and red clay containing silicon) are removed from the Wushi Gengsheng San recipe, you are left with Sanshi Gengsheng, Marquis He’s original recipe. The ingredients are listed here:

Zhongru (stalactite) 2.5 liang

Baishi Ying (milky quartz) 2.5 liang

Haige (oyster shell) 2.5 liang

Zishiying (amethyst) 2.5 liang

Fangfeng (Siler divaricum) 2.5 liang

Gualou (Trichosanthes kirilowii) 2.5 liang

Ganjiang (Zingiber officinale) 1.5 liang

Baishu (Atractylis ovata) 1.5 liang

Jiegeng (Platycodon grandiflorum) 5 fen

Xixin (Asarum Sieboldi) 5 fen

Renshen (Panax ginseng) 3 fen

Fuzi (Aconitum L.) cooked, with the removed shell 3 fen

Guixin (cinnamon tree bark from a smaller branch)

And very important is expensive wine.

As Wagner points out, his list of ingredients isn’t exact, because of the many variables the identification of those ingredients has (pharmacological variables, terms describing the ingredients, the provenance of the plants, etc.). But we can establish the most important ingredients: stalactite, aconite, and herbs such as ginger, ginseng, etc..

In Xi Kang’s (223-262) biography in the Jinshu 49, we see that stalactite could be consumed on its own ・ :

Xi Kang also met with Wang Lie, and together they went to the mountains. Lie found a stone, with the form resembling a sugar hat. Lie took half of the stone and gave the other half to Xi Kang. Both froze and turned to stone.

Donald Holzman, in his book La vie et la pensée de Hi K’ang identifies the ‘stone resembling a sugar hat’[4] as a stalactite, which is in He Yan’s recipe.

Little side note ‘turned to stone’ is indeed comparable with the slang ‘getting stoned’.

Pharmacological Effects

Before we turn to the preparation of the drug, I’d like to point out the fact that we only vaguely know what components lead to the psychoactive effect. Wagner wrote in his paper that he tried to have people knowledgeable in these regards, research with him, but it didn’t work out. If you want to learn more in this regard, I can’t help you.

Preparation of the Drug and Codes of Conduct

According to Huangfu Mi the minerals have to be prepared (I assume grinding it into a powder) and then they have to rest for 30 days. The plants are prepared on the day of ingestion.

The following texts are in Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo and in Sun Simiao’s work Qian Jin Yi Fang ・ :

Those who take the Hanshi powder, take the amount of 2 liang, this amount is divided into three pastes.

At sunrise, he takes with hot, excellent wine the first paste. When the sun has moved one chang (meaning two hours), in turn, he takes the other paste. When the sun has moved a second chang, he takes the last paste, having used up everything.

After a while, he should wash his hands and feet with cold water. When the energy of the drug is working, one will feel numb. Thereupon he undresses and bathes in cold water. When the power of the drug gets stronger and the body is cooled, the mind opens to clarity, and one recovers from the hardships, even for those who lie weakened and suffering in their bed, it will improve before the day ends.

There are people of weak or strong constitution, and there is different tolerability of the drug for many. If the person using the drug is emaciated and weak, he can eat a little before taking the drug. But when the person is strong, he doesn’t need to eat...

One always has to dress cold, drink cold, eat cold, and sleep cold. The colder the better. If the drug didn’t had an effect yet, one shouldn’t bathe cold yet; if one bathes in this situation, it will result in a painful cold, blocking the drug’s effect, leaving the person shivering. Rather (if the drug is blocked) one should drink warm wine, jump, dance, and rub themselves, to achieve the effect, if one starts to get warm, then they should bathe. If the (situation where the drug hasn’t reached the effect) has been dealt with, one should stop and not overdo (the cooling). Also one should eat cold multiple times (a day), not only in the morning and evening. If one refrains from eating and getting so hungry, then it’s causing the person, to get cold, and only if he eats he will warm up.

The ingredients suggest a high content of calcium, explaining the feverish symptoms. For those symptoms of heat, it was also common to just remove the clothes and go around naked.

Further we are informed that 2 liang isn’t an universal dosage, about that Huangfu Mi writes, which is cited in Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo ・   :

As far as seniors and children are concerned, who can’t tolerate (the normal amount, 2 liang) - here you can set the dosage under 2 liang. When the person is robust, you can set the dosage above two liang... Even though this medicine is excellent and can double the strength and spirit, it is indeed difficult to correctly dosage it.

Cao Xi (Yes from the imperial family) wrote also an explanation on the correct codes of conduct, which could criticize Huangfu’s suggestions which is quoted in Tamba Yasuyori’s work Ishimpo [5] ・ :

In general, one has to, when someone is taking the cold food drug, when it becomes too strong, consistently (focus on the condition) of the one taking the drug, and administer (fitting) healing recipes.

The body and liquids of the human flesh are (for different people) differing like earth and wind (as they are different in other places)Although it is said (by Huangfu Mi?), that one should drink wine, there are people who can do that, and those who cannot.

Although it is said (by Huangfu Mi?), one always has to stay cool, there are bodies of people, there are ones who can bear the cold, and those who can’t.

Although it is said (by Huangfu Mi?), one should eat and drink a lot, there are for food and drink different amounts (of digestibility).

Although it is said (by Huangfu Mi?), one should always exercise, there are different stabilities of the bone, ones who are strong and ones who are weak.

Because the people are thick and thin, old and young, have in their bodies illnesses or not, those who have much warmth and those who have much coldness, one cannot treat (the side effects) them with the same method.

A strong rise of the drug has many aspects and produces hundreds of illnesses.

As those symptoms can be useful in identifying anecdotes where someone is ‘under the influence’, as we turn to the next section.

The Stoned Nobles

Yes, Huangfu Mi called them “The Nobles turned to Stone”.

As it is mentioned the drug spread in He Yan’s lifetime and long after that. In the Guan Lu biezhuan there is instance recorded where Pei Hui asked his subordinate Zhao Kongyao why he isn’t looking well, Zhao replied ・ :”I have the misfortune, that no drug-minerals are remaining in my body.”

As Qin Zhengzu writes in his work Hanshi san lun ・:”Those who took (the powder), searched each others company.” The nobles of that time met in ‘drugparties’ which were most of the time called ‘wineparties’. The language describing those gatherings resembled those of wineparties. For example it is mentioned in the Jinshu 35 that Shi Chong (249-300) once wanted to sue Sun Lishu for not having acted according to the rites at his wineparty, but Pei Kai admonished Shi Chong by saying ・ :”You gave someone a wild drug and expect correct ritual behavior - isn’t that wrong?”

Then we of course have the parties by Cao Shuang, being prime examples of drug use. Of course the one mentioned in the Sanguozhi but also the one mentioned in Zhong Hui’s biography for his mother ・ :

At this time the Great General Cao Shuang alone held the goverment; he gave himself daily to wine until he became heavily drunk. The elder brother of Hui, the shizhong (Zhong) Yu told what happened on these parties. My mother (Zhong Hui’s mother) said:’ When they are having their fun, they are just having their fun, but it won’t last long. When those of high rank, aren’t arrogant and follow the rules and regulations, then they aren’t getting themselves in trouble. If they overdo it, a tragedy will happen. (Those who are in the government) have an excessive wastefulness. This is not the way to keep wealth and high positions’.

The seven sages of the bamboo grove were also known to be fond of the drug. We know of course that Xi Kang took stalactites, the other members showed also similar symptoms described in the following texts:

Wang Yin’s Jinshu biography cited in the Shishuo Xinyu ・ :

At the end of Wei, Ruan Ji drank heavily, neglecting himself completely, showed his hair in an unkempt state in public, and sat naked with sprawled out legs.

Liu Ling’s love for wine is well recorded, but we see him naked here as well, indicating of course this is a incident of drug use, it’s cited in the Shishuo Xinyu [6] :

Liu Ling was an inveterate drinker and indulged himself to the full. Sometimes he stripped of his clothes and sat in his room naked. Some men saw him and rebuked him. Liu Ling said, “Heaven and earth are my dwelling, and my house is my trousers. Why are you all coming into my trousers?”

Not only in the nobility was the drug popular, but emperors also took this. Emperor Huidi of Jin once had a party with youths of the nobility, it’s cited in the Jinshu 27 ・ :

Huidi hosted in the Yuankang era (291-299) a wine party with the high ranking and entertainment seeking youths (of the elite), they let their hair down and undressed in front of the slaves serving as concubines. Those who wouldn’t participate in it fell from grace, those who rejected it were criticized. Only a few nobles wouldn’t participate in it because of embarrassment, and they were presented as they would lack reverence (towards their ruler).

Interesting to see that not only the use of the drug only had a small opposition, but those who refused to participate in those drug parties were put under pressure. It was not only Huidi of Jin who used the five mineral powder but also emperor Tuoba Gui who personally beat those to death who argued against his drug use and displayed their corpses in the ‘hall of heavenly peace’.

After the fall of Western Jin the nobles took their drug culture with them south, as it is described in an anecdote with ‘The Eight Da’ which is cited in the Jinshu 49 [7]:

Humu Fuzhi, Xie Kun, Ruan Fang, Bi Zhuo, Yang Man, Huan Yi and Ruan Fu were sitting together naked and with disheveled hair in a closed room; they had already been drinking for several days. (Guang) Yi (Humu Fuzhi’s protege whom they had not seen for years, arrived and) was about to push the door open and to enter, but the guardian did not allow him (to come in). He thereupon stripped himself outside the door, put off his hat, (crept) into the dog-hole and looked at them, shouting loudly. (Humu) Fuzhi was startled and said:’Other people definitely cannot do so. That must be our Mengzi (i.e. Guang Yi)’. He immediately called him in, and together with him they (went on) drinking day and night, without stopping. Their contemporaries called them ‘the Eight da’.

The Five Mineral Drug and Women

Wagner comments on the question if women took the drug as well, that they were only sexual objects or musicians. They were not members of the circle who took them for psychoactive purposes.

But that doesn’t mean they didn’t consume it. Certainly, they didn’t participate in parties like the scholar gentry, but they used it like most as medicine. In Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo [8] it says:

When a pregnant woman catches cold and suffers from serious pain in her body, and she cannot be moved because of her condition, taking a dose of Cold Food Powder in warm wine and having a cold bath can do her good. After this, if she feels numbness somewhere on her body, the area should be washed with cold water, if she feels cold, drink some doses of wine...

Considering the fact that He Yan ignored the drug’s intended purposes, it is probable that not all women of that time weren’t so strict on using it purely as medicine either.

Also worth mentioning is that women took other substances like cinnabar, in the tomb of Wang Danhu 200 pills were found, which contained cinnabar. Cinnabar was mainly used in alchemy to either achieve immortality, or immortality of the corpse (to preserve it). But in the Tang dynasty, it replaced the five mineral powder, for it was also psychoactive.[9]

Five Mineral Drug and the Common People

To clarify, the five mineral powder was a luxury commodity. The powder itself wasn’t cheap and you had to mix it with expensive wine. There were no people who could profit from peasants getting addicted, there was no point in getting someone addicted to a substance he couldn’t even in the slightest afford. The five mineral powder was in every aspect a status symbol.

And because it was a status symbol people who couldn’t afford the powder would feign to suffer from the side effects of the powder. An anecdote from the Taiping Guangji 247 states ・ :

In the Northern Wei under Xiaowendi (reg. 471-500) the princes and high dignitaries, in high numbers, took the mineral drug, they were called the Shifa, for those ‘where the mineral drug is coming up strongly’. However, there were also people, who had a fever but were not rich and high standing, but also claimed they took minerals and that the fever derived from that. Contemporaries frequently suspected that those people imitated the looks from the rich and high standing.

There was once a man who lied down in front of the gates of the market and with all seriousness assured, that he had a fever so that the people congregated around him to take a look at him. When his companion wondered (about his simulation), he told him:’The drugs are coming up strongly (I am a Shifa).’ His companion asked:’When did the high lord take the minerals?’ The man replied:’Yesterday evening I bought rice, in it I found a mineral; That one I ate and now it is coming up too strongly.’ Everyone started laughing (because the effect of the powder starts immediately, exposing himself). Since then there were only a few, who pretended to suffer from the drug.

Effects of the Five Mineral Powder

As mentioned five mineral powder was originally used as a medicine, but through He Yan, it was used as a lifestyle drug. It was recommended to be used for everyone, literally everyone. Embryos, children, adults, seniors, healthy people, sick people, weak people, and strong people. And it seems that it was not just recommended in treating every disease you might have, but also to achieve godly abilities, good looks, a lucid mind, strength and of course using it per se was a sign of extreme wealth.

Shi Huiyi (372-444) wrote, which is cited in the Ishimpo by Tamba Yasuyori ・:

The five mineral powder is among the supreme drugs. One can excellently prolong their life, nourish life, and bring harmony to one's intellect. How could (one say) that the drug can only heal illnesses?

Cao Xi wrote, which is cited in Qin Zhengzu’s work Hanshi san lun ・ :

Those who are in today’s high rank, see the basic recipe of the drug and are calling out:’This is the divine powder, with which you can hold on to your life.’ And then comes the day, where they are taking it, undress, stand in the wind and pour cold water over them.

Side Effects of the Five Mineral Powder

Wudi sent an urgent message, in which he demanded that Huangfu Mi accepts a government post. Mi answered with a submittal, referring to himself as ‘the hidden one in the grass’: ‘Since I am weakened and emaciated, I am unclear about the direction of the way. Because of my illness, I removed my hairpins, my hair is (dense) like a forest... My humble self has nothing excellent about me, I cause catastrophe’s and seek my ruin, in fear of my serious illness. Half of my body is already numb, and my right leg couldn’t support myself for 19 years. I also take the cold food powder drug and missed and confused the codes of conduct; my pain (caused by this), my suffering, my bitterness, and my sorrows last for seven years. Even in the coldest weather, I undress and eat ice, and when summer comes, it is unbearably warm, and I am shaken by the coughing. At times I am exceedingly feverish, at times I have the coldest chills; Pus is running out my ulcers, and my arms and legs are heavy. In the meantime, my suffering only got worse, as I am gasping for my life...

In the Jinshu 51 ・ Huangfu Mi describes his ailings caused by the drug, in a submittal, hoping to avoid office. He took this drug in hopes to cure his old disease (most likely a stroke), but only worsened his overall condition. As Huangfu Mi describes further implications, cited in Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo ・ :

At times hands and feet hurt, and all joints want to loosen(?). On the body ulcers, form and knots raise. One sits at the bed and sits for a long time, without moving. Extreme heat is everywhere on the body and collects on one point. At times there are hard sores. When it gets worse, they turn to ulcers. When one recognizes that, the person has to wash it with cold water and rub a cold stone (over the sores). In an easy case the sores disappear after a short time; In the worst case one has to pour water over it for a few days without pause, and then it will improve. When the person has been watered for a while, he will recover eventually. But when the bumps are getting bigger and there is no improvement, one should take a knife whetstone and hold it to fire until it glows, then throw the stone in bitter wine. When the stone is in the bitter wine the stone shatters. Thereon one should grind the stone, and apply the stone mixture to the ulcers; When it has been done three times it will improve. Then one takes big worms from the toilet, grind them, and warm them up and apply the mixture to the ulcers, also that is not necessary to do more than three times, and then the healing is improved.

Huangfu Mi doesn’t write where the ulcers form but it is highly likely that they form on the back. Su Shi writes of decaying backs and according to Huangfu Mi, a son of Wang Su (195–256), Wang Liangfu, died because ‘ulcers ate his back away’.

Of course, the well-known side effect is getting feverish but there are far more, according to Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo other side effects include ・ :

Swelling of the stomach, until it wants to explode

Inflamed buttocks

Stabbing pain in the heart, like needles

Dizziness, frequent falling

Pain on all limbs

Difficulty to urinate

Difficulty to defecate

Stiffening of the joints, until one cannot move or stretch

Defecating without knowing

Pain in the eyes, like needles

Tinnitus and liquids exiting the ear

Pain in the mouth, tongue is tensing, and the mouth getting so dry you can’t eat

Rotting of the testicles

Sweating secretion under the arms and ulcers (on the lymph nodes?)

Hypersomnia without being capable to wake up oneself

Swallowing a cough up, leading to an injury to the throat and to bleeding

The feeling of cold and heat change for months

Screaming loudly with a wide openend mouth and with wide openend eyes

Blindness

Insomnia

Stiffening of muscles and skin, until they are dry and feel like wood

Tendency for the eyes to pop out

Some of them can be deadly. But next to the physiological side effects, there are also the psychological side effects. Huangfu Mi writes the following, cited in Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo ・ :

In general, those who take these drugs, when it came up too strongly, even when they are usually intelligent, they are getting dumb. When they are abandoned, they won’t get better. The number of those who died isn’t comprehensible. In general speaking for the stoned nobles, there are ten wrong attitudes (before ingesting the drug): 1.That they are starring angrily; 2.That they have fears or worries; 3. That they cry; 4.That they suppress defecation; 5. That they suppress hunger; 6.That they suppress thirst; 7.That they suppress heat; 8.That they suppress cold; 9.That they overexert themselves; 10.That they are sitting stiff and don’t move When one is against these ten wrong attitudes, one has to, when one wants to raise the effect of the drug, but is already stiff, always has to relax and bring harmony to the limbs; also one cannot read bitter things and not think of something worrying. If one is capable of doing that, the drug won’t come up too strongly and everything will better

If you fail in getting relaxed, similar to LSD, you are getting a ‘bad trip’. Huangfu Mi writes, which is also cited in Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo ・ :

One time I felt like that, when I was sitting in front of my food and tears just kept falling. I took a knife and wanted to kill myself, but was unable to go through with it because my family noticed and took the knife away. I retreated, checked myself, and forced myself to eat and to drink cold water, after that the (desperation) stopped. That it didn’t come to a tragedy, hang on a single thread.

Wang Wei (398-425) once treated his brother with the five mineral drug, but he passed away as a consequence. Wang Wei blamed himself and wrote in a letter which is cited in the Songshu ・ :

In the past year, the powder came up too strongly; on the climax tears came to my eyes, day and night without stopping

And of course, we have Tuoba Gui, when he started taking the five mineral drug his reign was considered ‘a bad trip’

Everyone was aware of the side effects, but they didn’t attribute that as an inevitable consequence but as a case of an overdosing. It was considered safe to use as long as it was used correctly. How it was considered safe to use knew no one.

First Aid In Case of Overdose

At times it can happen, that one falls unconscious and doesn’t recognize people or circumstances. If one (wants) to move its mouth, one can’t open it. The ill person doesn’t know himself and relies on the help of others. In this case, it is necessary that one takes hot wine, for it now depends on his life. But if he can’t drink (the hot wine because of the stiff mouth), one has to kick his teeth in and force the wine down his throat. When the throat is blocked, and the wine flows out, one should not stop (pouring it in). When (the wine) flows out again, one should pour it again and repeats it for perhaps half a day. When the wine gets down, he will regain conscience, but if one stops, without the person drinking the wine, one kills the person.

This is a recommendation by Huangfu Mi cited in Chao Yuanfang’s work Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo ・, it is probably self-explanatory that kicking the teeth of another person while unconscious, will at least provoke animosity, especially when the person unconscious is of higher rank like Pei Xiu. Huangfu Mi writes about his death in Chao Yuanfang’s work ・ :

Pei Xiu from Hedong took the drug and missed the codes of conduct. But because he attained the rank of Sangong, no one dared to force him to treat the (side effects of the drug). He was already beyond the stage of confusion, so that he wasn’t able to realize (what should have been necessary to do), and no one in his entourage knew how to help him. The treatment they chose for him was (giving him instead of warm wine, which would have been correct), letting him drink cold water and rinse him with cold water. When they used hundreds of shi of water on him, the cold became too much and, he died in the water.[10]

If one takes ten shi of glowing coal and pours over them 200 shi of cold water, the glowing coal will go out. Although the heat (caused) by the drug was great, it isn’t as great as the fire stemming from 10 shi stone coal. If one pours the person without interruption, the cold will be enough to kill him.

Later his son Pei Wei wrote a memorial, which you can find in the Jinshu 35, urging to correct the scale of the imperial physicians to prevent overdosing. He didn’t explicitly mention the five mineral drugs, but his background and the massive prevalence of the drug should be good indicators.

Lethality of the Five Mineral Drug

Those who survive (the intake) the longest, live for a few decades; those who live the shortest, only for five to six years. Even though I myself still see and breathe, (is that what I say), only the laugh of a drowning man.

Huangfu Mi’s description of the lethality of the drug cited in the Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo ・. He also lists people who died from the drug in the following:

More and more people took this powder and refused to stop, at time, including myself. Although violent effects were not common it could take a man’s life. One of my cousins named Changhu, suffered from atrophy of the tongue almost shrunk back into his throat; Wang Liangfu of Donghai country suffered from ulcerative carbuncles on his back; Xin Changxu in western Gansu Province suffered ulceration of his back muscles; Zhao Gonglie in Shu County of Sichuan lost six of his cousins to it. All these sufferings were caused by taking cold food powder. Among these, some were quite elderly and some still young, only 5-6 years old. Though I have seen this and sighed at it, I am just like a single drowning man, laughing at those drowning. Yet patients will not take a warning from this, and stop themselves.[11]

Notes

[1] All of Huangfu Mi’s works about the five mineral powder, are only existant in citations in the Chaoshi Zhubing Yuanhuo, the Hanshi san lun and the Ishimpo.

[2] The translation of Cao Shuang’s biography was made by @xuesanguo​. You can read it here.

[3] This translation I found in Guan Lu’s wikipedia page. It basically says everything Wagner has translated. But I only know for sure in this passage, I don’t know if the rest is correct.

[4] I couldn’t find a whole translation of this passage, but in Google Books the translation for Wagners ‘sugar hat’ (in German ‘Zuckerhut’), is in other versions ‘sweet meat’ or ‘cakelike stalagmite’. I personally think ‘sugar hat’ fits best.

[5] Cao Xi was the son of Cao Hui, Prince of Dongping. After the establishment of Jin he was made Duke of Linqiu. His works about the powder were also lost to time and ony citations in the Ishimpo and in the Hanshi san lun survive. Also to note the Ishimpo, which was written in around the year 984, was the first medical text in Japan.

[6]This translation is in the book World History, Volume 1

[7]This translation is in the book The Buddhist Conquest of China: The Spread and Adaptation of Buddhism in Early Medieval China by Erik Zürcher

[8]This translation is in the book History Of Medicine In Chinese Culture. Important to note is that Chao Yuanfang hasn’t quoted neither Huangfu Mi nor Cao Xi, so it could be his own recommendation, which was then followed in the Sui dynasty.

[9] For more info on Wang Danhu I recommend Entombed Epigraphy and Commemorative Culture in Early Medieval China by Timothy M. Davis, Landadel - Emigranten - Emporkömmlinge: Familienfriedhöfe des 3.-6. Jahrhunderts n. Chr. in Südchina by Annette Kieser, and Emigrantenfamilien der Östlichen Jin-Zeit  im Spiegel ihrer Gräber und Grabinschrifttafeln also by Annette Kieser.

[10]The Jinshu says he drank cold wine, not cold water. In this case the Jinshu is correct, he should have had warm wine, but he was given cold wine.

[11]This translation is in the book History Of Medicine In Chinese Culture.